on god my next car will have heated seats and a heated steering wheel

extremely go birds

the one here w the good ice cream?

hey. gf in 13 days at least

and another thing! it’s stupid when skincare influencers push on their cheek to show how hydrated their skin is or whatever. anyone’s skin would look like that with fresh moisturizer and a ring light. ok goodnight

i watched a video of michael hobbes the other day and i felt like i was on love is blind like after they meet their fiancé for the first time and they can’t match the voice to the face

i hate how i’m constantly being advertised to i am always catching myself looking at shit to buy and for what!! i have enough things i don’t need more things!! i want to throw my phone in a lake

💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻 maybe i’ll make my goal to crush a watermelon w my thighs

i have a deeply complicated relationship with my body because who doesn’t but lately i’ve been really appreciating my buff gym legs and quads of absolute steel

today was an immediate get home take an edible and get horizontal as fast as possible kind of day

ABC always be chickenlegging

victorian child sent to the mountain lakes 😌

good morning to girls who look like this

It’s wild to have two cats and have one of them be just so much more dumb.

i don’t mind my new medication but it’s making me very sweaty 🥲 i don’t need help in that department already 🥲

on avocado toast? blessed be thy fruit or whatever

#MILKSHAKE

The remote work debate was funny because it forced the question "Is a job something valuable you do or is it a place you go to be watched like daycare" and the answer for a lot of them was yeah it's the daycare thing now come on inside recess is over

egg yolk mixed with sriracha is gods gift to humanity

je deteste francais. or whatever

i really need to use this app more than stupid fucking twitter

i love television and watching television with my friends

having a normal one 👹

it’s not likely but i am a p*blic s*r ant so i reaaaally shouldn’t be saying anything on the off chance someone could!!

i’m nervous that i can’t lock this account and complain openly about my job. if you see me slipping please let me know

Beaker the muppet singing

while my guitar gently meeps

Fuck people who don't like mint ice cream share this post if you love them and ice cream and fuck if you don't love ice

this boy has never once touched the christmas tree ever in his whole life

here’s my favourite christmas ornament he’s from 1994

can’t wait to have another app to post on about shaving my head once per month and then never doing it