If I ever did drag my name would be Dory Toes. Can't believe no one has ever used that.

Good

Lumpy Space Princess staring in Legally Blonde the Musical:
Oh my glob oh my glob you guys

it's so confusing sometimes to be a dog (dog, dog, dog, dog)

Snape can be black but it's extremely important to the story for him to not be this hot

Why are you emailing me on Thanksgiving eve eve

I deserve compensation for this

Been a tough ten days for me

“can you believe the average american doesn’t even know what a tariff is??” Yes. Of course I can do that.

Arby’s should make a caffeinated roast beef sandwich

Going around the table at Thanksgiving and asking everyone to explain what a tariff is

Can't stop thinking about this

No one is talking about how good it feels to say the word indubitably

This is what I mean then I say I've got the dog in me

Y'all have got to watch this show

I love my dog so much but I'm not reading this

Limiting views of a website you're trying to sell ads on is 4D chess and some of you just don't understand (also me I don't understand)

Me on July 1st, a gay person with student loan debt: