Operation Epic Furry would be a great fursona

How Little Caesar’s talks to me when that new indica strain kicks in for the first time

I fucking love basketball

Getting Michael Jordan to come out of his house for anything other than gambling or humiliating other humans via competition is the strongest sign of a recession I’ve seen so far

This is the face your body makes when every single Inside Out emotion is fighting over who gets to hit the self destruct button first

Officially at that age where everything on Spotify’s new release page sounds fake

I don’t know, kinda sounds to me like they’re just reskinning The Apprentice with a host that’s (only slightly) less likely to end up as a fascist dictator

I’m worried I’ll never become the swordsman I want to because the only times I can practice is when I run out of wrapping paper

This guy 1000% has a ‘Jennifer’ tattoo somewhere on his body that he just doesn’t want to remove right?

Why are they giving Adrien Brody the full runtime of The Brutalist for his speech?

I bet it must’ve cost $2,000 cuz the pattern is so complicated

Make sure you fluff up the cushions on your piece of shit uncle’s fainting sofa before showing him this headline

Do not quote the old magic to me witch I was there when it was written!

Roses are red,
It’s become overwhelmingly evident,
That the city of Pound Town
Is about to gain a new resident

No babe that’s my emotional support 90s hip hop playlist

Pete Davidson without tattoos looks like the halfway Pokémon stage between Mike Bibby in college and Mike Bibby today

Joseph: “Jesus Christ! You call this room clean?”
Teenage Jesus: *flicks cig and kick starts motorcycle* “Whatever man you’re not my dad”

Something tells me they would be very insistent on the “taxation without representation” annexation model

ChatGPT is down? Huh. Crazy how that doesn't affect my life in literally any way at all

Sorry I can’t come out tonight they just updated Roku City so I have to take an edible and spend the next 6 hours trying to find all changes

*20 minutes into Emilia Perez*
“So when does she go to Paris?”

No babe I swear! I was just jerkin off, I wasn’t following the instructions!

I’ve had great results with Polycrylic by Minwax

Me passing balled up wrapping paper to my dad to put it in the trash bag

this is a trillion times harder than the trump picture everyone claimed was the hardest ever. free luigi

Huge day for overtime

Sandoval will do anyone to get Andy to pick up those cameras again

/r/cybertruck Door Issue?

CT doors would not open this morning so I cabbed to work. Came home at lunch to find the CT fucking the shit out of my wife, clearly satisfying her in ways I never have. Not sure if this is normal, or something I need to keep an eye on? Still the best truck I’ve ever owned

Mr. Tumnus is going to have cunty little boots