It's so funny the name of the company is Ticketmaster. It's like if Exxon named themselves OilHoarder.

“She embodies the spirit of Thomas Edison, by using inclusive innovation as a catalyst for progress."

Crows are intelligent creatures, and that’s why we don’t consume them. I am positive of this fact. But if someone presents solid evidence to me that they are in fact stupid, I’d eat crow.

Kitchen Nightmares talking head interview where bozo restaurant owner/chef says his “Carletta sauce is inspired by god”

Set in an unnamed state, an idealistic 34-year-old lieutenant governor juggles familial issues and a challenging work life while preparing to take over the job of her mentor, the state's longtime incumbent governor, who suddenly accepts a cabinet position in the incoming Obama administration.

a real film synopsis starring several people you like and respect:

350 degrees has an illegal monopoly on oven temperature

boy that Alzheimers advocacy ad was a real bummer

Going to see Hamnet. I love Shankspeare

what about the humus? Is it totally awesomesauce?

A packaged “Insultinator”, a plastic toy from the 90s you can program to speak elaborate insults.

I had one of these as a kid like 30 years ago. Nothing is new

Reminds me of the discourse about the “fearless girl” statue on Wall Street. There was an NPR article about how the hedge fund behind the statue had a less gender-equitable board than average and all the comments were “who cares about the material conditions?? we love the purely symbolic gesture!!”

I got an accupressure mat a few months back and it’s the best thing I bought this year. It is torture for a few minutes, especially the first time using it, but man it melts the chronic tightness in my shoulder blade in 5 minutes or less.

A “little lager” in an 8oz can called Lil Buddy

Benicio del Toro saying “a few small beers” in One Battle After Another

The Modern Family theme song is the fastest stomp-clap-hey song that’s ever been recorded

There is a barber conspiracy where no matter what I ask for, no matter what photos I show, they will humor me and pretend they understand then give me the same fucking bowl cut

Soda can that says United Sodas of America

🫡 I pledge allegiance
to the flag
of the

It’s impossible to read this paragraph without hearing the Oceans Eleven soundtrack

I’m the guy who started putting ESSENTIALS: FEAR OF GOD on hoodies and I’m not telling anyone what it means

This ended up being not true, huh

They should have given the Nobel Peace Prize to Woke.

so fucked up our guidance counselors didnt tell us we could slow down Elton John songs and add 2/2 bass drum beats to them for a living.

NY license plate reading “DAD24HRS”

Eat. Sleep. Dad. Repeat.

The best type of movie is “guy that sucks can’t stop making bad decisions”

Honestly only interested in this movie as look into what separates Benny and Josh as filmmakers, though frankly I’m not that amped for Marty Supreme, either, from what I’ve seen of it.

Weird they both did sports-related movies as their first solo projects

I love vinyls, they have my favorite musics on them

Leonardo DiCaprio’s vape work is off the charts in One Battle After Another. He vapes like Fred Astaire rolls his hat down his arm