now the national news with our anchor Dick Slicer

Sydney Sweeney has the most beautiful Bathroom Eyes

oh my GOD that video of him disclosing details of nerve agent mishaps by a woman wearing crocs and the wrong PPE while Dance Monkey blares in the background of a crowded restaurant - also why is it hogs like O'Keefe doing this journalism; we're so cooked

BREAKING: Mike Huckabee detained at DC airport, forced to conduct another humiliating interview, this time with Buckley Carlson

Lmao, it was a play on bedroom eyes, she has bedroom eyes but something's a little off

girl are you a honeypot cuz you got me all sticky down there (but seriously you have to tell me if you’re a fed)

girl are you a honeypot cuz you got me all sticky down there (but seriously you have to tell me if you’re a fed)

Sydney Sweeney has the most beautiful Bathroom Eyes

I used to be a free thinker like you. Then I took an onion in the knee, now i'm a submissive slave to the new world order 😔

guys who have never done drugs make the best drug jokes

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"Not left, not right, forward." There are red and blue arrows going right and left and a big black dong going up and slightly to the right

every time, they think they're slick

many such cases, this dynamic should be called the 'needy king's viziers gambit' or something. I'll have to workshop the name

becoming a 911 Truther (calling 911 to report how I got scammed out of all my money thru a beef-related RFK Jr health cream scam on Truth Social)

The guy at the store said Lars is the only guy he's ever seen pull off drum sticks that big.

*hanging from the wall sconce* and why do you think that is?

oh yeah that's a ton of fuckin corners, tourism capital of the world right here boys

Yeah, GA also has questions, SC, but we kind of always do

Thanks for the input Derrell

And do that by... losing elections?

All lethal warriors who fail mandatory hand-fecal coliform level testing will perform 6 CrossFit workouts called something like Murph Battlespace Julius; flu or no flu

If you've got time to wipe you've got time to lay pipe (ON WOMEN)

a sharp critique of Hillary Clinton couched in PMC libspeak explaining how both Clinton and Maddow ultimately failed the project of the US State Department would have her pull out the Budd Dwyer lunch sack

Meandering and rambling and repeating the same details multiple times before coming to the point 15 minutes later; oh yeah you better believe that's catnip

agreed, caught this heron dabbing on these hosers who blew up his spot yesterday

C'mon people, purity is up and prices are lower than ever (real), we just need to an idea to give this glorious gack some zazz, some pop. Let's dive into this bag of scaly flake see what we can come up with

MOAR BEEF BYPRODUCTS AND BOVINE OFFCUTS FOR THE BEEF GOD

Embarrassing to be dog-walked by a goon like Wright, how are our representatives this bad at communication

Wow Alex Jones is really losing it

does anyone have any fix your brain juice