My “WE ARE NOT A REPUBLICAN PAC” shirt has people asking a lot of questions that are already answered by the shirt.

✨ D E L E G A T E M A T H ✨

Black/standard.

I don't know what's more embarrassing, that I was playing Magic: The Gathering, or that I had gotten my ass kicked so thoroughly in Magic: The Gathering that I feel the need to share the splendor of my defeat with all of you.

They’re calling them the most normal children anyone’s ever had.

Probably should be noted that, between me and Rick Kaufman, only one of us was responsible for security during the Columbine massacre.

Someone was like “Rick has decades of school safety experience under his belt, what do you have?” And I said “0 Columbines” and suddenly the thread got locked.

“Unlike most school districts, our kids take the bus.” Yeah man okay. Glad you’re on our side, whew.

FB thread locked at 50 replies in 26 minutes for calling the guy responsible for this ill-advised decision a feckless boob.

Last night, Bloomington Public Schools called a snow day for today. ZERO (0) INCHES OF SNOW.

Excited to get his take on Artemis II.

Wouldn’t doubt that someone bet 100G on Jonathan dying in April and the payout requirements were two international news articles confirming it. Actually, I’m so certain, I’m now betting on it. Where do I go do that?

Tweet: [a false claim that Jonathan, the 193 year old tortoise who is the oldest living land animal, had passed away] Community Note, currently rated helpful: The Friends of the British Overseas Territories has confirmed that the real Joe Hollins does not have an X account, and that Jonathan the Tortoise is alive. This account is soliciting crypto donations, and has recently changed its username.

Some vile ass crypto scammer decided to fake the death of Jonathan the Tortoise, even going so far as to vandalize Wikipedia and solicit the BBC and USA Today to print obituaries based on their tweet alone, all so he could solicit crypto donations in the replies.

BUT I BEAT HIM.

She should move to New Hope and run to the left of Ilhan. Honestly getting tired of the right wing primary grift, we need to shake it up a bit.

My crazy flat earther bartender tried telling me his latest anti-Catholic conspiracy theory, however I expertly identified it as the plot of Final Fantasy Tactics, and he was like aaaaaaah you got me.

I am hearing that on his deathbed Darth Vader received the light of Islam and unhesitatingly recited the Shahada. Even now he looks down on the Ummah from the gardens of Jannah. Truly there is no god but Allah, and Mohammad is his prophet!

This is not to mention that Vulcan-Romulan split was over 1,600 years before TOS, long enough that the schism would be more legend than history at that point. Like discovering that not only was Atlantis real, they have been griefing you and your friends this whole time.

lmao 2016. Crazy how the door just happens to close right behind you the second you cross that threshold.

Elliott is descending into his 40's about 15 years too early.

This is why the only cereal allowed in our house is Fiber One or Cap’n Crunch. Cereal is for healing. Physical and emotional.

I'm on a drug that makes all food seem repulsive, but I'm high enough where this also suddenly sounds great.

Fucked up my whole day. Sitting here six hours later wondering, what if my mouth felt tart. What if.

It's a brewery and they're honestly just in between batches, but I agree, you shouldn't be so awash in one type of beer to the exclusion of another.

I am an IPA guy, but they switched out all their sours for more IPAs, so now I feel like Scrooge McDuck drowning in an ocean of his own gold.

and delicious

The Good Applebee’s is Bloomington DFL HQ Site B, this is 9 Mile, Bloomington DFL HQ Site A.

9 Mile has cycled out their sour, otherwise I’d absolutely be drinking it. This is something called a Golb, which I apparently mispronounced as “Glob” when I ordered it and now they keep asking me if I want another glob of beer.

My branding is very strong. Ilhan Omar still refers to me as Hello Kitty even though I’ve met her a half dozen times. 😂

Getting ready for my 1:51 am appointment with the White Bear Lake PD.

He had started drinking at 2:30 pm the day prior.