also working sober (no weed) is absolutely excruciating and I don't know how anyone survives a day without something to block out the bleak hellscape that is modern worklife

Starting the new job today and training is dragging on, I hate this whole situation so much. Why can't I just be paid to masturbate ffs

What makes me cum? Seeing that 18 year old stud cock serviced by an older guy. 🥵🥵🥵 Give me that fertile load all over my face and chest, son. Dad needs it so fucking bad. Invite your friends and teammates over next time. 😈

FIRST STONER DADDY 4 GOONCAP 👨🏻

Someone draw this: Fat bear dad making breakfast while trying to keep his son's cum from leaking out of his wrecked hole, losing the battle and cum running down his legs right as son enters kitchen, sees the mess he made and decides to add another load while dad tried to keep the eggs from burning

HOW TO EDGE a guide for dumb gooners so you wanna edge and deny but youre too much of a dumdum to keep yourself from spurting thick ropes of cum? let your big bro teach you how to keep your spermies in. grease the fuck up you need lube lil bro. like you *need* it. youre gonna be bating a loooot of hours and it will get really sore if you try to do it dry. i really like albolene and other oil based stuff. keeps your penis skin feeling really good for a really long time. theres a reason albo is like the cringey stereotype for gooners. youre not trying to pretend you are above being cringe, are you bro? gooners are cringey and weird as fuck. embrace it and get greasy!

use your dumb hand if you wanna get dumb on penis dont use your smart hand. use the hand youre not used to. using your normal hand is what you are used to for spermies. if you bate righty go lefty. if its the other way... dude stop thinking about it and stroke ok? you really are dumb switching up your bate hand will stop your dummy brain from thinking its sperm time like you got used to. new hand says its not sperm time its edge time. make yourself even dumer hypno is so good for breaking your brain and helping you be a better denied dummy. let spirals make you stupid and horny and take away your spermies. you dont wanna cum. you wanna do what the nice voice is telling you. good lil bros are too dumb to cum. get real cringey

i really think you should start glovebating lil bro. its super cringey and weird but it feels so good. gotta get the smallest medical gloves you can and use em with some good lube like i told ya. its basically always how i bate now cuz it feels so good. i even have a lil ritual when I start where I turn the glove inside out to use the extra smooth side cause my cock likes that more. i love my gloves a lot and soon you will too bro. if your a gross gooner, you can even reuse em and get your hand in a nice warm greasy glove. handsex only so obviously dumb gooners are too dumb to cum. that means too dumb for sex too. the only hole you go in is one made by your greasy hand. even toys are dangerous for uncummed guys cause they keep gripping even when you get close. if you wanna be a real loser, try to only use a toy when you are soft or semi. soon as you get stiff you lose toy privileges. theres a lot more to learn about not cumming, but i think this is already a lot for your brain. now stop reading and start stroking.

too dumb to edge? lemme help!

Now this is a third space I can get behind!

a thick load of dad cum dripping off his fingers.

Feeling some serious fatigue and needing naps as I am reborn into a morning person for my new Job of Desperation but I found this pic of a thick load I shot 10 years ago so please enjoy.

my turn on the (se)x-box

Dig in boys! 😜
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#humpday #grommr #gaybear #gaycub #germangay #germanbear #hairybelly #hairyass #bigass #gayphotography

Focus.

I’m a piss drinking loser

There’s a video 👀

dad's belly and dick

Feeling mostly back to normal, and maybe even a little better than before. Enjoying a nice peaceful Saturday morning with some good coffee, cinnamon rolls, and porn.
Wish I had a son or two to spend the day naked with Dad!

A team has been dispatched with orders to keep you huffy and frustrated. All "relief" has been tentatively rescheduled to 2027 pending review of your behavior.

Got 2 vaccines yesterday and spent all night tossing and turning and sweating. Woke up with the sweatiest balls and ass ever (even had to change the sheets) and couldn't even enjoy it because I feel kinda shitty.

A big fat horny bear who pins you down to the bed under his belly and roughly humps half a dozen orgasms into you because you're just his sex toy to use as he pleases 🐻💦🥵❤️

a purple monster with the words who disturbs my slumber ALT: a purple monster with the words who disturbs my slumber

I HAVE BEEN SUMMONED

Did a market research thing today and omg I never want to be involved as a juror in anything ever. The other participants getting sooo hung up on the dumbest most inconsequential shit and losing the plot almost immediately, voting against common sense because they want to victim blame. Grrr!

I feel like you need Nus Braka (villain from Starfleet Academy played by Paul Giamatti) for this, he would make a great evil space daddy. Even the Stargate system lords can't hold a candle to his over the top, chewing-every-piece-of-scenery performance.

I fr thought this was a silicone sex toy

Stop questioning, start obeying!

Seriously boys, this Dad needs a nice long fucking. I'm gonna stretch out on the bed and you just snuggle up and slip it in. Gimme those long, deep, slow pumps and let me tell you what a good son you are, then I'm rolling over so you can really pound your Dad's ass into the mattress.

It's pulling you in, making your mouth water and your head foggy and your cock hard. Be a good boy for Dad and get in there!

This jock hasn't been washed in almost a year, you're gonna love it 😉

Let's find out 😍

When Dad is horny and pulls you into a public bathroom stall so you can slide your cock into his fat hungry ass

Time for a fucking machine pup 😍

Just look at furry events. A bunch of adults getting together to be horny in costumes? Obviously a bunch of freaky weirdo perverts and clearly not just normal humans doing normal human things. If we don't loudly and publicly proclaim our disgust, someone might think we are one of those freaks 😱

Women who show sexual desire are worthless sluts and men who do the same are creepy perverts. Our entire planet is built around sex but we refuse to allow it anywhere near 99% of our lives. Younger generations are just blindly playing the part because they don't know they can do whatever they want.

I think it is a combo of the population being more sex aware and informed due to the internet combined with a mandatory facade of moral outrage and disgust at anything sexual, because our whole culture is pleasure- and sex-averse. All we care about is making money. It's a bubble that will burst.