Whatever you say is fine with me

Steel mesh says you can

I doubt the rat cares if you’re using kitchen scraps or buying B&Q - it’s just somewhere warm

You’d be better off ensuring a rat couldn’t get in

Cue Whitney Houston singing I Will Always Love You…

seemed to be guarding the wrong body

I mean, as much as I hate Tesla, at least they’re not a civil enforcement officer…

WATCH: Researchers at Stanford University modeled how many people could die or be disabled in 25 years if vaccines for polio, measles, rubella or diphtheria were no longer available.

a man in a suit and tie is laughing while sitting at a table . ALT: a man in a suit and tie is laughing while sitting at a table .

Thinks their girlfriend was the only one who didn’t believe it was the child…

Google is full of reports on tiny charity donations?

It's not Google that is full of it...

Surely the bed is the mortar, and he was going to grind you to a fine paste in it…

No, you did the right thing

Says something that I can't tell which way around this is!

The Strait of Hormuz opens and closes more often than Stormy Daniels

The Iranians are growing on me - they have a wicked sense of humour!

They got to get everyone on something to help them cope with all this insanity.

You mean to say we haven’t all been on psychedelic drugs since January last year and this is real?!?

Oh, beehave!

I mean, Trump’s multiple declarations of victory were already laughable even before Iran closed the Strait of Hormuz again.

Those Iranians have a wicked sense of humour.

bugs bunny and daffy duck are standing next to a sign that says duck rabbit on it ALT: bugs bunny and daffy duck are standing next to a sign that says duck rabbit on it

strait of hormuz update

Who has the energy for sex after changing a king size duvet cover?

Is this the Neymar Jr model?

a man in a suit and tie is laughing with his mouth open ALT: a man in a suit and tie is laughing with his mouth open

Stephen Colbert "dude, you can't compare yourself to Jesus, for one thing, Jesus' father loved him"

Seeing how Trump reacts when anyone tells him 'no' is how we immediately know he’s a rapist.

Of course a rapist and pedophile is going to dismiss the trauma of female survivors. Fuck him.

21.00 FILM: SAVING PRIVATE RYANAIR Harrowing war drama about a brave company of soldiers to should be on the beaches of Normandy but have been diverted to Brittany and must now board a five-hour bus to get to the right place, whilst their weapons and supplies are somehow in Tenerife.

Looks like images are back in business, so our new CEEFAUXs continue with the perfect in-flight movie (£15 to activate your screen, £5 to skip adverts, £7.50 for headphones)

These are not the replies you’re looking for.

What you get up to together in the bedroom is your business. Try talking to her about it.

Replacing Kristi Noem with the Easter Bunny was a surprise move, even for Trump

“…and I don't know why”

It’s probably the name…

No sit, serlock!

Quite a nice touch that the Tories went to the trouble of giving Kemi Badenoch a jacket with her name on.