i mean at a base level im flattered anyone wanted to pay me decent money to draw for them. i did not believe.

perhaps there are just more nsfw commissioners with girly ocs, but i feel flattered that this many people wanted me to draw ladies i feel like my account is so yaoipilled so often. i love women too.

what's the point of flagging posts or allowing someone to appeal a flagged post if making it MORE safe for work gets your deactivated??

sdfgsf christ. yeah tho, i kinda figured something like that would precede it, or idk. i had one post flagged, changed and resubmitted it more censored and then bam, gone. like okay!

sometimes it all starts to feel a little not worth it though, i'm not gonna lie!!!!!!!!!!

whatever i made some pretty decent thai basil fried rice so fuck you all

this is fair though tbh. and like, this all of a sudden feels like it has to just be a particularly spiteful moderator or something. bizarre

the thing is there are more prominent queer creators on there and on patreon for whom that never seems to be an issue no matter how much they skirt the guidelines 😒🙄

sometimes it feels like i specifically am not cut out for this or especially victimized by porn bans. while a hundred other people get away with everything. what gives.

oh tumblr just straight up deleted my softending account. huhhh okayyyy. like, is that a thing now. even if things are censored it's just not cool or what

this is what i feel like

8 sticker sheets, 4 minis + one bigger individual sticker, and i've got 4 saw pcs doneish. i'd like to do a couple for scream and maybe jenn's body. i mean i'd like to do more in general, but i've dragged this out so long already. creep josef and sara one though... the boy..?! i have to stop tho.

AND if i make extra money it will just become evidence in my mind that i'm not working hard enough regularly bc that's the amount of money i should be making all the time then, right. and so on and so forth my brain is broke

like there are multiple concerts i would really like to go to. if i can grind out some work to make money to cover it, it feels like that should be... okay? but it's not, bc it just becomes money that should be used responsibly (unclear) instead. even if that was it's sole target. ugh

i just don't make enough money to feel like i can ever be frivolous, but i also hate the idea of just wasting time and opportunity not using the money i have to live? ? do some fun things?? like what's the point? but then my brain is convinced that every dollar spent is weakness and stupidity so

i am finding it really hard to find a mental/emotional balance around the idea of making/spending money, and it's driving me crazyyy. like. i have to be able to justify some amount of spending, it is not possible to exist without spending money as far as i can tell. and yet.

we dem boys

i was going to say, looking at the number of kudos/bookmarks, it definitely would have had to be filtered more specifically!! im super impressed and honestly just glad to see it's still up here! im not sure i even read it on AO3 back in the day, it might have been lj hahaha

mindset

#狂聡 #쿄사토
居酒屋行こ！🍢

I think I found it?
archiveofourown.org/works/435164

holy shit?? HOW DID YOU DO THIS LMAO. i think this is it, though!! this is crazy, thank you i can't wait to reread it later!! (⁠´⁠⊙⁠ω⁠⊙⁠`⁠)⁠！

i don't know if HE understands that death note 2017 is a camp masterpiece. but it's okay. i see the vision

my only sort of regret is not doing any other adam wingard movies before this one bc tbh i do stan. don't care for vhs. but i love you're next and the guest and blair witch 2016. i get him.

i'm awesome

okay the plan todayyy:
- upload as much backlog to patreon as physically possible
- settle on some ych bases
- finish sticker sheets/work on minis.
good? good.

A digital illustration of Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji kissing while half on the ground. Wei Wuxian leans over a supine Lan Wangji, with a hand on his chest, the other gripping his elbow. His hands and face are dirty. He is fully clothed in his normal dark hanfu and red ribbon, and he is blushing. Lan Wangji is naked except for his white underwear, which are tented and slightly see-through where he’s leaking pre-cum. The lighting is warm, rich, and diffused. There is a white background with just the figures as focus.

closeup of lwj’s underwear area

a closeup of them kissing

When lwj is cursed and the only cure is kisses and @*$%ing in the cave.
#wangxian #mdzs

asdffghjkdfg