I'll end a sentence in a preposition. I don't care what it's by virtue of.

Hell of a day.

How can you tell an owl is possessed?

His head still turns all the way around, but he's yelling mean things about your mom.

It's a longshot, but gotta at least try.

GA, we can have nice things. Jason can make them happen.

We're dealin' with some WIDESPREAD POLLEN over here.

Massive rainfall during a Widespread Panic concert in Birmingham, AL on 04.18.26

How hard was it raining at the Widespread Panic show last night?

(📷: David Olsen)

Also, will AI talk to my boss when they ask where the fuck I was today? "AI said I could take the day off!!"

The first time traveling porn star will go down on history.

Downside: You have to watch never-ending commercials where Matthew Broderick uses Genspark AI to "take the day off work" like that's a thing that exists.

True. Oddly enough, "Promiscuous" is ALSO about her eating worms.

Probably good that she changed the lyrics at the last minute.

I'm like a bird. I need to fly. I need to have worms fed to me. I need to be covered in mites. And THAT is why this middle cubicle won't do.

"You can tell which episodes of ER coincide with Ron Eldard filming Sleepers because of his sideburns and mustache," I remark as my family finally decides to completely ignore me forever.

Robert Ben Garant

The only "Deep State" I care about are their underrated sketches like Bearded Men of Space Station 11.

I saw bigger turnout for a Tuesday night Sister Hazel show at GA Theatre six years AFTER "...Somewhere More Familiar" came out.

Lots of bright orange earplugs and Dr. Scholl's inserts in that crowd.

Having a great day! Several people have already told me GFY, which I'm pretty sure means "Good for you!"

Gordon Ramsay is easily the best chef that's also a blonde prune capable of speech.

Welcome to CardAgains, my thrift store that only sells pre-worn, button-up sweaters.

These things absolutely take over my yard in summer now. The good: they catch and eat mosquitos. The bad: they’re huge and scary and their super sticky webs are everywhere you want to walk.

See ya there. Also, Built To Spill and Hypos at VP.

Sturgill tix acquired for State Farm Arena. Let’s boogie.

This is the same code I used for ATL. Got pit tix.

In a just world, this would be even bigger than Goji Maca Snakaroons.

On the same flight as an infant and a big dog. If anything happens, we’re set for cutaways

Yeeeeeah!! Let's get it! Time to rise and grind....our teeth while facing the atrocities of the day.

So over nostalgia. Wait, now I'm back into it. And done with it again. Kinda miss it, though. Oops. Hate it again. Remember when I loved it? That was so great.

Screenshot of Joker and Batman from the Adam West Batman series surfing. Joker says "Cowabunga, Bat-Drip! As surfers go, it looks like you're all wet! Ahahaha!", to which Batman replies "Shut the fuck up! Fuck you!"