Spectacular! I mean, squirt-ocular!

Hey, MLB! Stop scheduling games in northern cities in March March should be for basketball “Madness,” not baseball madness.

It's time for #MLB to move the start of the season back to April, where it belongs.

www.bleedcubbieblue.com/mlb-news/212...

I found my calm in your blueberry palm

If you see this, post a concert photo you took

The Wedding Present; Portland, OR 2025

Post a gif of who you wanted to be as a kid

I enjoy direct, blunt rejections that obliterate my understanding of who I am and what I want in life, actually. Please devastate me, it's the closest I ever get to love

Add a letter, ruin a song

Glandslide

I’ve seen enough. Not about the election. Just generally.

Gedge is a terrific songwriter.

Genius songwriter

ACAB for Cutie

Please tell me why my car is in the front yard, Charlie Brown

Why Are You Being So Reasonable Now? - The Wedding Present

I have eaten

the gerrymanders

that were in

the state election board

and which

you were probably

saving

for the midterms

Forgive me

they were delicious

so risky

and so conservative

Absolute masterpiece

Count Chocula is the best cereal ever.

Organizing, calling your reps, protesting, and having sex with their wives while they're out terrorizing our cities are all good ways to fight back

I love your theater! Thank you for bringing us joy and building community!

Pyramid cream, not pyramid scheme

Mary Kay-sexual because I earn a commission for everyone I fuck. And you can too!

Your journalism gets worse and worse every week. Was this story conceived at the Woodlark?

How the Grinch stole my sunshine

i’m posting the video again

The Wedding Present shows were amazing! Can’t wait for the “Seamonsters” tour!

When you do anal, you’re a deep space ass-tronaut.

Even in these difficult times we must continue making art. That's why I will always post things such as "The ass is the window to the soul"

Make someone fall in love with you in three words or less:

Free mustache rides

Make someone fall in love with you in three words or less:

Eats, shoots, leaves

Tom Selleck *and* Gene Simmons!

My parents took me to see “The Big Red One” (WWII movie w Lee Marvin, Mark Hamill, and Robert Carradine) when I was 7 years old. I only saw it that one time and several scenes from it are burned into my mind.