Might be the realest thing he’s ever said

Is Target on the ballot

Chairman Carney sir release the rodents. Flood Calgary with a tidal wave of rats

Im hanging out in a cave with my buddies and this dude just won’t shut the fuck up even though my favorite show is on

This is such a beautiful sentence, every word just so much more violent than the last

In Quebec we dont say someone has been cancelled we say they’ve been “annulé”

movie budgets should cap out at 20 million, or one 60 million dollar movie per studio. Figure it out from there

Just did an ADHD screening. It consisted of a slideshow of memes from the page "ADHD Memes for depressed Teens". I had to press a red or green button depending on if I related to the memes. If I got it wrong a man would whip me in the balls like Le Chiffre from Casino Royale

Went to a sex shop recently for a launch party and I was shocked at how tame the name for the toys were. Lipstick will be called "anal on the beach" but most sex toys seem to be named "the penguin" or "the gentleman's ring"

Dwarven miner SHOCKS tavern maiden by ordering in FLAWLESS elven at Neverwinter tavern

Had a dream an EDM musician did an unplugged concert and it was just the dry sound of the guy hitting his turned-off launchpad controller to a silent audience

watch this space

hey what's cool to do on here

people were getting laid on twitter? was i doing it wrong

I used to hate chunks in my salsa, now i basically only eat it for the chunks

Another website to add to the rotation of content on my phone whenever I go take a dump