Oh interesting!

I used to listen that religiously. Kinda floated away from it. Still good?

Hell yeah!!

That’s some good parenting right there

Linda McMahon’s “final project” is gonna be turning all junior highs into WWE training centers.

I keep trying to put my finger on what this whole presidency so far feels like. I finally got it. Remember those “going out of business, everything must go” furniture ads from the 80’s? It’s that.

Lemme say, thanks in advance! John is such a legend! Love him!

HELL YEAH!

Finally a bright spot in this trash fire world: @drewfromtv.bsky.social’s Drew Carey show is finally streaming! I’m catching it on its own channel via Amazon Live but I bet it’ll pop up other places! One of my faves & Drew is the most standupest dudes from standup!

He has very good ideas on the deficit and how chaos can wake people up.

You on SNL coincided w/ me staying up to watch the show when I was real little. I was a comedy obsessed kid even at that point & I loved your cast. Did I get all the jokes? No, but your physical comedy got me everytime. Life sucked for me back then, so thanks for the laughs! I’m a comic now too!

THANK GOD

Love this!!

Don't worry- we renamed him The Pope of America.

It depends on if he’s wearing pants

Woke up before noon
Woke up before 1
Woke up before 2
Fell asleep at 3
Fell asleep at 4

All of my younger friends are getting married and engaged and I feel like a happy older sister for them and a very single older sister for me.

Saw a dude on a dating app saying he’s looking for someone with “attention to detail”. He fired me before I could even swipe left.

Imagine being rich enough to do anything you want and choosing to take food and medicine from starving children to give yourself even more money.

This SNL music special is pretty cool. I’ve never seen so many white guys clapping off beat since before the pandemic.

NEW: Archived tweets for Gavin Kriger, Musk's 20-something DOGE employee wreaking havoc inside USAID, shows that Kriger has retweeted multiple neo-Nazis including Nick Fuentes, leader of the so-called Groyper movement, and another popular explicit Nazi account recently unmasked by @travisbrown.dev

With everything going on these days, will having Del Amitri’s “Roll To Me” stuck in my head for a week be the straw that finishes breaking what’s left of my sanity?
Only the Shadow knows.

Right?!!

ICE Agent Decides He Wants Kids After Seeing Incredible Love And Devotion Of Parents Begging Him Not To Take Their Child

ICE Agent Decides He Wants Kids After Seeing Incredible Love And Devotion Of Parents Begging Him Not To Take Their Child
theonion.com/ice-age...

Well I’m glad you got it taken care of! 😁

They cut the Cheeto’s mic before he could name the real culprit of the crashes: people who have the end of the toilet paper in the back as opposed to rolling off the front.

Dude. You got the Afib??

I'm not smelling sex and candy so much as a metallic odor mingled with burnt toast

Twitter Draft Tweet Files 3/18:

Things I Blame When Things Go Wrong:
- the humidity
- the economy
- Mercury in Gatorade