for some reason the way you're captioning these is making me anxious

but Wesley has been my hairdresser for 22 years; I watched his kids grow up

I asked my hairdresser and he said my hair was too thin for it 🥲 maybe I should try another hairdresser, one that works in the city that I live in perhaps

damnit now I'm thinking about undercuts

one of the cutest things about the canal in London is how often you hear cyclists singing their hearts out as they go along

come to the bar for women and birds, it's harpy hour

Penny loafer? I hardly know... wait, fuck

Penny fur. YOUR THOUGHTS?

I mean, it probably sucked when his son died tbf

it's impressive how often a theatre show will end and an audience member will just sit there, as if waiting to be asked to leave, and then act all offended when they're told that the show is over and that that is generally a cue to go home

Penny fur. Your thoughts?

Shakespeare never got knocked down and thus never had a chance to get back up again

powertool lesbian! I knew I'd heard something

if not then I assume I am just destined to become more butch

is there some obscure word for a non-butch lesbian who is capable of doing DIY?

if you have seen my dick but have NOT paid me £10K then you are special and you have lived a life with meaning

sure you can see a photo of my dick if you happen to have £10,000 you're willing to part ways with

I HAVE committed several illegal AND immoral acts though AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA LOOPHOLED HA

thank you, Ralph, very graphic

"born too late to explore the Earth" bro what? do u have any idea how big the Earth is? it's literally the whole ass Earth

for the record I have never committed any illegal or immoral acts

I don't always smoke weed

at least I don't think I do

what was the question?

if this isn't proof that my family has been neurodivergent through the ages then I don't know what is

although I suppose he likely didn't make that pressure gauge himself but still

The only parts he didn't make himself are the castings. Everything else, every nut and bolt, was hand-machined in his shed. Goals tbh.

A photo of a scaled down model of a vintage field engine, painted dark green. It has a large golden flywheel and red wheels.

A photo of the rear end of the same engine, showing adorable miniature dials, sights, and valves

my family has done little of note but my great-granddad did build model steam engines, which are tremendously impressive

subtlety isn't my strongest quality

this is code for "I am a freak who loves needles" for those unaware

that really star spangled my banner

yes of course duhoi