Sounds suspiciously like he hallucinated the whole thing

which is also what they say about abusive jazz boyfriend mooch losers

Gargantula Tarantula @sharrell.bsky.social features new Rosy Nolan single "How It Feels to Fall in Love," writing that it's a "zydeco-infused single... a tight, poppy-yet-rootsy little swamp-folk number that’ll get you stomping the porchboards."

gargantulatarantula.substack.com/p/slush-jams...

Your semi-regular reminder that they're always doing what they accuse "the other side" of doing (via AP)

ROBBY THE MUG HAS A HANDLE

Like, if your company name sounds like an evil company from a dystopian video game or Gibson novel, maybe you should not embrace that vibe. Black and White Zebra sounds like it's based in Raccoon City and outsources its PR to Blue Ant

So I was using my Pee Spot around the corner of the house and a baby bird in the shrub startled me and then the mom came out of nowhere for the dive bomb and I had to hose off my legs

"Federalization of police force in the nation's capital" is not-very-clever code for "there's a new palace guard"

A small platter of mini Cubans from Publix costs $15.99 and can last three days for one person oh you "can't eat the same thing every day" and "try to eat healthy" and "want to live" well maybe you shouldn't have gotten your degree in FOREIGN LITERATURE from WOKE UNIVERSITY you dei peasant

Slush Jams #11: Week of August 3, 2025 Kesha returns, Dizzy Reed goes solo and gets F'd, and, uh, some metal.

The Slush Jams review kung fu is unbeatable, y'all #music #musicreviews

Currently taking odds on whether Texas or California secedes first

FINALLY

Philz founders serve their loyal workers a steaming cup of betrayal with notes of greed Private equity firm buys Philz Coffee for $145M, leaving employee stockholders empty-handed. Workers who invested thousands see shares "extinguished."

They don't care about you. Not the cool indies, not the progressive Digital Generation companies, not the old-school "we're a family" corporations. None of them. Work for whoever you want/can, but just understand the dynamic.

Nobody:

Florida: *flies flags at half staff for dead racist professional wrestler*

An abandoned great Dane is granted humanlike consciousness by visiting aliens, passes the Florida Bar and learns to play jazz saxophone. Watch as he lives, loves, works and struggles to navigate personhood in a man eat man world in CHARLIE BARKER: ATTORNEY AT PAW

If you don't know, Celsius is like the unofficial beverage of 12-steppers under 40

New Poll: 4 of 5 Americans Would Reveal Social Security Number in Exchange for Free Double Cheeseburger with "Those Crispy Onion Thingies"

So not because he raped children, then

According to our quadriplegic 19-year-old dachshund, these new treats are bed-shittingly delicious

If I can't be Poplar Bluff High athlete Scott Harrell, at least I can have his sweet, unblemished, dewy-fresh credit report

Slush Jams #9: Week of July 7, 2025 Jams gonna jam.

Slush Jams #9 is rocking in an increasingly freedom-uncertain world #music #musicreviews

everybody gradually quiet quit Food Network after lockdown until Guy Fieri came to work one day and it was just gear and camera operators

a Food Network show about someone who can tell which emotion any dish was prepared with by tasting it

"these are clearly rage potatoes, Guy"

Colanders are the shoes of the Hughes

I'm pretty sure all the Hot Topics closed bc the staffers graduated to hairstyling and shift management at Starbucks

people bitching about "performative reading" in public spaces like their whole online presence doesn't boil down to look at me

Slush Jams #8: Week of June 29, 2025 The very definition of "a mixed bag."

Slush Jams #8 has breached containment. #music #indiemusic #musicreviews

Today in yeah,,, wait, what

I really wish I'd had a kid so she could tell me what this reaction emoji I just got means and also for my ego

"define ouroboros"