Thank God my net worth will never be that high, because I'd be getting fined every time

I’m sorry, as an old comics nerd, I can’t be too above it all or jaded to not be insanely stoked that there’s gonna be a movie where the Avengers, the Fantastic Four, and the X-Men fight Doctor Doom. We all live in Hell, so let me enjoy this you cynical fucks.

I will say the big difference between him putting all of his political beliefs in terms of Mario Kart and me when I do it is there are three women who haven’t walked out of the room when he does it

Somebody tell him it is the store you go to to buy corners after they've been cut.

no one will ever throw people under the bus like this guy, the best ever to do it

Do it. Post it.

Flavor-wise this was cauliflower rice with pork tenderloin and one singular piece of stewed apple.
Yeah, it was just cauliflower. It was an affront to dignity and happiness and food.

Very inaccurate AI-generated world map, with a red circle around the many many islands it thinks the UK is, and a red box around Florida, which is now much smaller and looks like Italy.

Rising sea levels really ruined the UK, but, on the bright side, it also mostly got rid of Florida, so I think it is a net win? Also, it now has much better pasta, since it looks suspiciously like Italy migrated to its former spot.

To be clear this is also silly. But this is like a first time Funko pop owner picking a rules fight with the owner of the local Warhammer shop

I was given cauliflower rice instead of real rice with my lunch and dear God that tastes like disappointment.

It’s profoundly ignorant to suggest that the Pope should be fighting crime on behalf of the Catholic Church. Anyone who was remotely familiar with Roman Catholicism would know that that’s what Daredevil is for

Yeah, I'm not even bothering to roll that

Boo!

You know what the US needs...

A Strait Flush

was once New Amsterdam.

A large, ring-shaped Lucrehulk-class droid control ship orbits the green and blue planet Naboo, surrounded by several smaller Vulture droids in the dark expanse of space.

BREAKING NEWS
In response to the Trade Federation's blockade of Naboo, the Republic announces a blockade of Naboo.

If someone’s idea of a good time is mocking you for something you enjoy or who you are, block them.

Their lack of a personality and need to fill that void by bringing others down isn’t your problem to deal with or worry about.

Microwaving tea is just fine.

if u like RC cola ur a mark

as effective of a rhetorical tool the "leopards eating people's faces party" thing is, I do think it's possibly unfair to actual irl leopards, who are, as a whole, not evil

Sometimes this timeline is so stupid that it's hard to comprehend.

my “NO NUCLEAR WEAPONS” t shirt has a lot of people asking questions already answered by the shirt

books: the rectangle that can’t send you push notifications. Try: books.

check yo self before you dox yo self

after a quick review of my timeline i feel the need to point to the sign

Imagine how much better life would be now though if Starfield was good.

The biggest story in the world right now is that the president of the United States is a demented old man who takes pleasure in torturing and killing people and is committing crimes with impunity. And yet most legacy media outlets are too cowardly to tell it like it is.

One out of every 10,000 rolls in Dark Souls should be a cartwheel and the character should go “YEAH” while doing it

The difference between cucumbers and pickles is jarring.