Happy birthday!

I’m sorry but “you’re in my head, my heart, my body parts” is such a weirdly clumsy lyric, specially when “you’re in my head, my heart, my spleen and calves” would have just about fitted

That’ll make the pensioners who don’t go to school really happy.

The Labour Party, the actual Labour Party, talking about who they’d want to taser.

The fun of book selling is the obscure data I get - the second best music encyclopaedia (eh?!) behind the Rollings stones but the 62nd best yearbook between the Beano and Pokémon

He’s not angry he’s disapointed. But also angry.

I don’t know if this counts but I was on nights as a first year doctor I ran to a cardiac arrest at 4am and a cleaner was scrubbing a floor and for some reason yelled STAY DOWN and properly hurdled her

🎼 With under a month to go until #Eurovision, who will get your #DouzePoints?

Don't forget Lazarusheart when planning your outfits for this year's Contest & parties. There's at least one design for each of this year's entries...

#Lazarusheart available at Redbubble
⭕ bit.ly/lazheart2026

Just put a nappy on a dog if anyone’s wondering how my life turned out.

Alright Erika the programme has clearly finished, Sandy’s just landed at Gatwick #eurovisionagain

Imagine setting up 80 lights on the scoreboard just for that moment at the end when 4 of them turn on in the wrong order #eurovisionagain

Fuck it give it to Monaco #eurovisionagain

Coming here with your facts

Great to see The Beast from the Chase representing Finland #eurovisionagain

Imagine an era when Sweden didn’t sent a bop #eurovisionagain

I don’t think anyone expected the ending from Switzerland there. Like she stepped on a plug on the final note #eurovisionagain

Christ these revolving mirrors are a bit much #eurovisionagain

There’s a nice collection of songs so far, and it’s same it took Eurovision so long before releasing that forcing the jurors to pick one song only probably wasn’t the best way to judge it #eurovision

Song 2 - it’ll never catch on. It certainly won’t be covered about a thousand times

I might put a face mask on and wait for the neighbours to clap for me just for the COVID nostalgia
#eurovisionagain

#eurovisionagain

Song 1 - ronnie Carroll wants his song back

Somebody somewhere thought saying the same thing in 6 different languages would make amazing television

Anyone doing the 1967 watchalong tonight #eurovision

This year’s Eurovision book is available now on Amazon, and here’s what this years edition looks like!

Available now: amzn.eu/d/0dUCKU3E

#eurovision

If Facebook can teach us anything, and that’s a massive stretch, it’s that people in the uk don’t know the difference between libel and slander and that “call the police for slander babe!” Will achieve nothing

The YouTube link opens Spotify

This year’s Eurovision voting book is out now on Amazon!

amzn.eu/d/00nFytZA

Thank Christ

Didn’t realise my camera was on in a teams meeting as I necked an entire Easter egg

I am somewhat irritated that my best post ever on this site is a farage joke