I don't want to investigate further that this made me cry at my desk, but it made me cry at my desk. Looking forward to watching the whole show.

Of course they did.
I assume all drones are spying, so when they’re in view my sign tips up to cover me & message them

If you're worried about the CA Governor's race please share--and USE!--this new website by the volunteers at Indivisible Alameda. It tells you how to contact the lower polling candidates in the race and urge them to drop out. It's a much-needed resource.
indivisible-alameda.org/take-action/...

Hey everybody! I am taking the helm of this classic American institution with @theonion.com and want to know what you fine folks would like to see from us.

The Onion plans to turn Infowars into a comedy site with satirical echoes of the fringe conspiracy theories that Mr. Jones is known for. Tim Heidecker, one of the comedians behind “Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job!” on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim, has been hired to serve as “creative director of Infowars.” He said he initially plans to parody Mr. Jones’s “whole modus operandi.” Mr. Heidecker has been working on his impression of Mr. Jones. But eventually, when that joke gets old, Mr. Heidecker said that he hoped to turn Infowars into a destination for independent and experimental comedy. “I just thought it would be just a beautiful joke if we could take this pretty toxic, negative, destructive force of Infowars and rebrand it as this beautiful place for our creativity,” Mr. Heidecker said in an interview. During a recent trip to Philadelphia, he traveled to the Liberty Bell to film a video in character as the new creative director of Infowars.

Get excited.

www.nytimes.com/2026/04/20/b...

FBI Director Kash Patel sues The Atlantic claiming false reporting about drinking, absences FBI Director Kash Patel filed a defamation lawsuit against The Atlantic and its ​reporter Sarah Fitzpatrick following the publication of an article on Friday alleging the director had a drinking probl...

If I represented the Atlantic, I’d lock in the earliest deposition date on the calendar. Call Patel’s bluff. He has zero interest in putting any of this under oath.

Join The Onion Don’t just read the news. Feel it. Be among the first to feel the news.

For fuck's sake, sign up for The Onion, and get a free limited edition IW tote.

A share of merch sales will go to the Sandy Hook families, which will be the first time they get any money since they filed this lawsuit eight years ago.

Legal fees have been insane. Please sign up and help us out!

Is it?
The logo is altered fairly significantly to ID it as Onion & not the OG mark….
Can’t read the NYT articles typically w/out subscription
Am I missing something?

It’s not a culture war.
Never has been.

We Gave Homeless People Cash. They Bought Housing Not Drugs. The evidence from Vancouver to Denver is undeniable: When people in crisis receive money, substance use goes down, employment goes up, and homelessness ends. On any given night in the United States...

It's pretty weird to me how poor people get judged for buying a can of beer but a rich person with a passive income from capital ownership will literally brag about spending $1000 on a bottle of bourbon or wine.

It's absurd for anyone to assume people are poor because of their spending choices.

"Racism is a grownup disease & we should stop using our kids to spread it."

~Ruby Bridges in Topeka, KS on 14 Nov 2024

LIVE: FBI in UTTER CHAOS as Kash RESPONDS TO ALLEGATIONS!!! YouTube video by MeidasTouch

We're going live now! www.youtube.com/live/Od0I2AX...

Feeding him 2 t media in pieces makes good ‘hapless victim' story while he's run over by The Bus.
Entertainment value for the bloodthirsty mob.
Everyone knows there's always more & worse toadies waiting in the wings.

#distraction from the #epsteinfiles takes a LOT of work.
And this vibes like a Miller tactic 4 moving t “2-brown" guy out.
Whats his ROI in $$$ 2 TFG been anyway?
Think t side show has put 2 much drag on t circus yet?

Look at the change we made We are also, for the first time ever, putting all of our merch on sale 30% off. We are going to do a mid-spring refresh coming up, so we're clearing out the last of our existing stock. Note that we ar...

@404media.co is punching WAY up with their reporting & deserves a TON of support.
Check out the uber impressive list of stories you may have seen in the news w/out knowing they all came from this 1 #mighty #trustworthy & #independent group.
#supportindependentmedia

www.404media.co/email/124290...

Criminal bosses dont put anything with their name on it in writing. And their underlings learn quickly to do the same.
Documentation is the enemy of crime.

Thanks 4 the note of cautious optimism, but there r some awful candidates being put 4th 4 lc vacancies - & the threat of Thomas, Roberts or Alito deciding 2 retire during this cycle - is a real & present danger via both lower courts & the Illiberal Constitutional Crisis Crew in SCOTUS.
#nauseating

Tell Congress: Restore PBS and NPR Funding The Corporation for Public Broadcasting (CPB) has officially closed after Trump slashed $1.1 billion from public media. I just signed a Common Cause petition urging Congress to restore funding for PB...

Do t just doomscroll.
Do something.
Here’s a good thing u can do now.

Sign this petition 2 restore PBS and NPR Funding here:

#truthy

It’s National Library Week, so support your fucking libraries people. Use them, fight for their funding, fight for your librarians. Don’t let your most reliable third space go to waste.

LIVE: Pete Buttigieg BRINGS DOWN The House in RED STATE!! YouTube video by MeidasTouch

Feels good.
Smart.
Civil.
Grounded.
Inspiring.

We let the worst people on Earth become the most powerful people on Earth, at a time when the most powerful people on Earth had ready access to the tools to destroy Earth.

Those words will be on humanity's gravestone—should any of a dozen rolling disasters cause global collapse.

Clearance Thomas is always on sale

In a sane administration, the FBI Director doesn’t go on the morning news to prove he’s not a drunk, the Defense Secretary doesn’t quote Tarantino to prove he’s a man of God, and the President doesn’t take multiple cognitive exams to prove he’s not insane.

so, who’s the most shitfaced member of the Donnyverse? you could be forgiven for assuming it’s Piss-Drunk Pete Kegstand, the champagne-guzzling dunk-tank clown who grew up to be Donny’s Secretary of Death. after all, ‘piss-drunk’ is right there in his name. and sure, in the running would be US Attorney Boxwine, famous for regularly showing up for her on-air Fox News gig as a word-slurring, four-sheets-to-the-wind mess.

who's most shitfaced in the Donnyverse? no, it's not Pete Kegstand — and it's not Jeanine Boxwine. their antics can't compete with the drunk-as-a-skunk antics that Kash Patel gets up to. thank you for your attention to my sober look at the most inebriated cabinet ever. link is here: bit.ly/4mMkjA8

#mood

SNYDER: I don’t think we have any right to go to other countries and tell them how to vote, or to tell them that we know how God thinks they should vote, which is exactly what Vance did.

HOST: Because it looks kind of bad now, since God was wrong, per Vance.

SNYDER: (Laughs)

This is (yet another example of) why we can’t have nice things ; like health care.

Of course they all gonna make $$$$ on this 2 w/bonus points 4 TFG when their followers r tripping ballz so hard they think they can understand the marble-mouthed nonsense spat at them by Prez EvlFkWit.

Voluntarily stepping into (the movie) Brazil - not gonna hear when the goon squad knocks…

The FBI Director, the DC US Attorney, and the Secretary of Defense walk into a bar.

Apparently like every day.