my first 60 pound for therapy was absolutely smash and I can afford my consultation and another session at least, thank you so so much, i wont put your names here just in case, but thank you!! <3

Specifically, I am tired of the nightmares and triggers. I want to trust and love again. I hate being isolated all the time. I hate how much my MH gets in the way of my life in all areas.

So yeah. I need help.

I am thinking of starting streaming again so I can raise money for my therapy sessions each week/other week.

Currently to get a good therapist in Bristol, that is properly PTSD and trauma informed, is £60 or over.

There is no PTSD or C-PTSD specific NHS care here.

Rejection trauma go brrrrrr but I’m learning so that’s good =]

Hope everyone is have a nice week so far =]

I love the lil hippo =]

On the other hand I worry that slogan tees like this are my pipeline towards live laugh love crockery and I’m scared and don’t like it.

I have never needed a T-shirt so much.

Omfg getting those replaced is the worsttttttt. I nearly fainted in my last one!

that middle one is awesome!

Labyrinth (1986) - David Bowie's Magic Dance | Movieclips YouTube video by Movieclips

i fancied the shit out of david bowie because of this damn movie.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBv4...

Sent you my magic arena tag: ztephers#80439 please respond/add me

SO I CAN DESTROY YOU IN BATTLE WITH DIGITAL CARDBOARD CARDS

Fuck trauma man.

I rationally know that there are some good things about me. That I deserve to have friendships and relationships just as much as the next person. But god does it emotionally hurt when I realise I put myself in these one-way circumstances because deep down, I think I that’s all I deserve.

It’s pretty painful and I can 100% recognise how I repeat and continue those patterns to this day.

I have pretty awful memories of my older siblings not liking/hating me or of friends ditching me etc. I think this built a schema that I have to wait until people ‘want’ to be around me. That I have to be on the outskirts of friendships and relationships. Not within them.

I am hoping the the next few months I do some proper healing when it comes to wanting to have friendships with people that aren’t interested in one.

WhatsApp message asking for photos of teeth from a scam company.

What the actual fuck

omg i can put my piano stool under my desk and cross my legs and then also you can also by cross legged chairs and GAME CHANGER

But I also want a glorious white beard and moustache when I am older. They look so refined =[

I want to be Santa =‘[

The midi crossword for the New York Times with the crossword shape looking a bit too close to a swastika.

@nytimes.com …..

The midi looks like a swastika.

Classic

Have you apologised enough for existing yet today?

Because I sure have =\

I went to a thing and it was really fun and cute, check out carnifolk y’all.

I’m a vampire now.

I am listening to dubstep and I am proud of myself and I don’t care what you think these tunes slap.

mundane minecraft, where the goal is for people to make the must mundane elements of real life e.g. a retirement village, the local post office, a bus stop.

I AM SO ILLLLLLLLLLLL =[

do i start streaming again... for like funsies?

i am ill and might be being delirious

I made some things =]

Alcohol free cider: £6
Normal cider: £5.80

OKAY TOBACCO FACTORY! OKAY! >=[

Lunch down my top, hairs a mess, face red … guy tells me I’m beautiful.

STILL GOT IT.

I really with I didn’t spill so much down me though =[