i love gays bc we’ll be like “happy earth day here’s a nude of me”

Ended up having to work in the rain, pants are soaked. Glasses dirty. Nipples HARD. I’m cold as hell

An adorable raccoon.

iran when trump makes a social media post:

less harry potter more hairy otters

based on this statistical model i made after licking 47 of them there are no daddies made of sugar

everything since pangaea has been a mistake

I’m not proud of it but if Forrest Gump started talking to me on a bench I’d have left

been a while since someone talked about gleeking

every night at 11pm, in an effort to tell me to "go to bed," my phone drains itself of color like one of the dying. and every night, instead of going to bed *or* turning the feature off, i get mad about it

good morning it’s sunday morning

ads peaked in 1891 i guess

Get them in the same room together

The head of the FBI isn't supposed to be getting blackout drunk. He's supposed to be cross-dressing

happy birthday king!

Exactly one year ago today:

here’s everything you missed while bluesky was down today

they hired me but like of course they did

You’ve scrolled so far you’re now back on MySpace.

Turns out Flavortown is a sundown town :/

Selena Gomez and Demi Lovato together at the ‘It’s Not That Deep’ tour in Orlando.

I think we need to bring back public booing.

Screenshot of a British Vogue Instagram story. A blonde white man stands with his hands behind his back in a TV studio. He’s wearing a flesh-colored sweater with a banded circular cutout in the center and a bright red shirt underneath. It looks like a gaping b-hole.

My man is rocking the Goatse sweater

We as a society don’t discuss this song enough.

I bring a sort of “visible stubble bleeding through makeup” vibe to the CVS that CVS patrons don’t really like

2014 me vs now

Barbara Streisand sitting on a couch with the quote “I'm very lazy. I don't like to have to work. I'like to be free. I don't like to have commitments." - BARBRA STREISAND

wrap this whole week up i’m so serious