i cant save him. i barely got to him. if he does this again i wont be able to stop it. i. why cant i stop my best friend from doing that. i. i should be able to. at least a good friend would be able to.

thanks for not manipulating me /srs

this guy genuinely wants me to plan out every single day like ive been able to do anything even SOMEWHAT like that in the past. you just take everything away from me and then throw that at me.

cut to beans accidentally. sharpened my knife too much. stings kinda nice. wonder what itd look like if i cut near my wrist instead of my forearm. not doing that though.

dads asking for a two month plan for everything and also my plan for the entire year dude if you keep this up i wont make it to the end of the school year and it should be fucking obvious to him but hes too fucking DENSE to figure that out apparently

i wanna go cut my chest up again but he could be back at any moment now and i dont want to rrisk anything

how can you love and support me when i cant even love and support myself?

this world isnt made for dolls

so i fear i’ll simply keep running until everybody’s forgotten about me

night is risky but morning might be more obvious

hhehehahahahahaa god i dont even need to wear a long sleeved shirt when i scar my chest and ffuck this shit stings like a bitch and j ffucking love it

hheheheheheheehhehehehee i wanna ccut more i wanna scar my chest more and more

hnfg ggod that feels so good ffuck yes

im fucking terrified!!!! im gonna go fucking cut mysrlf again!!!!!!! maybe i should use a razor again..take some chunks out of my arm,..no thatll take too long to heal..regular knife it is then..

im not going to leave you. you didnt leave me at my lowest, so i cant do that to you.

i wont be able to stop you from doing this will i? just make sure to not cut too deep, and to clean them up after.

genuinely shaking!!!! this is great!!!!

if im unable to get this fucking project in late that i cant i dont know im scared im scared im really fucking scared im sorry for not doing anything im sorry for being unable to do anything by myself im sorry im sorry pplease dont be disappointed i sswear ill do better please

i believe in you

i feel like even if i tried to kill myself id fuck it up somehow because im that much of a fucking failure

but im too much of a coward to do anything like that anyways

i already did yesterday and i havent told anyone but i want to do it again and cut deeper and deeper until im bleeding and bleeding and bleeding

god im gonna relapse again

hhghh GOD WHY CANT I DO ANYTHING I CANT BE NORMAL I CANT GET A FUCKING JOB I CANT LIVE UP TO EXPECTATIONS I CANT HELP MY FRIENDS I CANT DO FUCKING ANYTHING RIGHT

i feel like my begging and pleading only makes him annoyed i should stop im just annpying him

i need to get myself together

its not enough. im going to cut deeper.

@powerfulman-alexg.bsky.social

Hi. Just wanted to say that I really love you, and that despite everything, I’ll love you all the same. You’re so much more than the thoughts in your head. You’re easily my favorite person to be around. You deserve so much good.

it feels heavenly to drown in my own agony tbh

You know, I know
What it’s like to be alone
Punch-drunk, sick host
Crawl inside and make a home
Nothing special
Just all that it meant to be
Downward spiral
Suffocating apathy

/lyr

im useless im useless im useless im useless im useless