(Sorry, gotta do my job a little if I’m also gonna tell you guys not to read the news so much)

Semafor Flagship The daily global news briefing you can trust.

Might I suggest an old fashioned email newsletter that arrives in your inbox at regularly scheduled intervals instead:

My job is to get people to read the news, but I think push notifications are deeply unhealthy and it’s fine to just seek out news on your own time instead of letting someone shove it in your face at all hours of the day.

oh so now it’s a crime to support local journalism

A screenshot from ITYSL of baby Harley Jarvis captioned “[audience booing]”

Another screenshot showing the audience with a man yelling “I hope you fucking die, Harley Jarvis!”

The people of Earth-818 in FANTASTIC FOUR: FIRST STEPS

have you consider living entirely on instant mashed potatoes for the foreseeable future? that worked for me

He is now calling for Trump to nationalize SpaceX lmao

Hilarious number of your former colleagues to have immediately running to Politico to trash your new book announcement

Eric Adams’ son drops new ‘party’ music inspired by chasing his rap dreams in Albania: ‘Biggest chapter of my life’

I love when the New York Post does Eric Adams mad libs

How the little-known ‘dark roof’ lobby may be making US cities hotter As cities heat up, reflective roofs could lower energy bills and help the climate. But dark-roofing manufacturers are waging a quiet campaign to block new rules

“It was another win for a well-organized lobbying campaign led by manufacturers of dark roofing materials.”

It was a very long and busy week and they put me in a hotel across the street from a Taco Bell Cantina. I have regrets but I did what needed to be done.

Almost opted against submitting expenses for a work trip to avoid having to tell a coworker that I went to Taco Bell three times in one week

I never really considered that the Secret Service would do this but now I need to know if anyone has ever been picked up on an outstanding warrant because they visited the White House

Alec Baldwin in MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - ROGUE NATION saying “Sir, Hunt is the living manifestation of destiny…”

He was right to say it

There’s a great bit in THE FINAL RECKONING where Ethan Hunt, finally forced to confront the reality that he regularly hurts innocent people in service of his missions, apologizes to someone just for the guy to brush him off and say Ethan actually made his life way better by accident

Really did not love the first hour or so of MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - THE FINAL RECKONING, which falls to near FAST & FURIOUS levels of silly self-seriousness, but then Tramell Tillman almost single-handedly saves the movie by being the first person to remember this is supposed to be campy fun

NYC Tourist Tip: Disoriented coming out of the subway? Just stop at the top of the stairs and wait for a helpful New Yorker to give you directions

Timothée Chalamet auditioning for the UNCUT GEMS prequel

Simpsons screenshot of a nerd saying “Boy, I really hope somebody got fired for that blunder.”

So you’re telling me that in MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - ROGUE NATION, the IMF is subject to Senate oversight and closed door hearings, but in MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - DEAD RECKONING we learn that the DNI doesn’t even know about the existence of the IMF?

a bag of PISTACHIO NUTMEATS from TJ’s

Any store could shell pistachios for added convenience, but the real Trader Joe’s magic is in coming up with just the perfect repulsive and humiliating name for it

I think his favorite so far has been M:I-2, but that might’ve just been because of all the John Woo doves

My dog has been sitting next to me on the couch absolutely locked in for nearly the entire MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE marathon. He can’t get enough of Ethan Hunt and the IMF.

Rewatching MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE - FALLOUT and it’s so funny how both big stunts Tom Cruise does between the HALO jump and the helicopter could have so easily been done by a stunt men? We can barely see your face, Tom!

I don’t love the Knicks but the Pacers are a deeply evil team (have a QR code on their jersey)

I worry about Timothée Chalamet at these Knicks games. A sickly little Victorian boy can only handle so much stress

Just rewatched MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE III for the first time in years and for as much as I love Philip Seymour Hoffman’s performance in this movie and think he’s the franchise’s best bad guy, I totally forgot how he ends. MADAME WEB ass villain kill!

One of 2024’s hottest releases was a PG political thriller about the college of cardinals and kicked off a whole “movies for grown ups” discourse online.

You are a hack if you think you have to be able to say “fuck” to make a mature movie!

“You can’t make an emotional Star Wars for grown ups unless it’s rated R” is an incredibly funny thing to say like a week after the Andor finale

If Ethan Hunt started spamming slow-mo flip kicks like an hour earlier, it would be a much more fun movie!

Actually really enjoyed revisiting this one despite the flaws. Still my least favorite but now I think the real problem isn’t how disconnected it feels from the rest, but that John Woo waited until the last 30 minutes to really start doing John Woo shit.