met some people today and told them we were from Brooklyn and the husband turns to the wife and says "that's where everybody hates chris is from"

it checks if they have an active twitter account

a fart is a dream your ass makes

<ron burgundy voice> I'M every woman?

Having my AI write a new game of thrones book and then having my other AI read it and tell me if it was any good. This is basically the future of all companies

star wars font is actually fair use here

It can be hard to fill these bigger venues. they should have just stuck with the old turning point space under gristedes

"and charlie brown. he had hoes, didn't he folks? I'm hearing he had a lot of hoes"

feels like something trump would say a week before invading

the iran war is a distraction from trump's broken promise to bring back toilets that flush harder

the pope, welcome to the #resistance

you was today years old

20 years ago we had johnny facebook, bob twitter and steve dunkin donuts

referring to twitter as X is giving freedom fries please grow up

instagram keeps serving me ads for "teen accounts" which means the algorithm thinks I'm either a dad, a pedophile, or young at heart ♥️

the fact that Eric Adams isn't even the worst mayor of my lifetime is cool actually

the fact that he’s using it for propaganda makes me regret ever painting this

Maybe he's the guest maybe he goo

Maybe he's the guest maybe he hosts who knows

inshallah

viktor orbán, your performance in the challenge was strong, man. but your runway look left us hungary for more

“We were talking about the academic rigor of a liberal arts education, and essentially how it can be updated for the current economic status and job market,” Michael said. I'm glad he said that. Couldn't think of a better thing for him to have said before this clip.

Tilly Norwood has died in a boat fire

it's a great time to be an american and indulge in one of my favorite pastimes: having a strongly held, hours-old belief about a strait somewhere on the other side of the world

bassoon? yeah that's the right name for what it sounds like. tuba? absolutely. triangle? hmm not exactly but I understand what they were going for.

these kids don't know how good they have it back in my day we had to get all our horrible sex having advice from guys who looked like this

hate being right all the time. This is not normal!

a purple cartoon character is giving a thumbs up sign . ALT: a purple cartoon character is giving a thumbs up sign .

He is raisin

is baby gronk the new rizz king?

without jumping to conclusions I think it's safe to say that he was been sucked into the virtual reality MMORPG world of sword art online