been almost a year since i was at my lw i miss it so bad🙏
Posts by rei ❀˖°
i’m jst so fucking confused and scared i don’t wanna feel like this anymore
do that again. it’ll probably push my friends away aswell bc they’re prbly getting annoyed w having to tell me what to do and w me going to them to complain abt him. but i jst genuinely can’t bring myself to completely stop talking to him and idfk why idk what’s wrong w me.
and he’s struggling. i’m tryna help him the best i can but if that means staying w him forever i think i’d be the one to kms. but anyway we ended up talking for ages n having fun and i feel like after that we’re probably gonna end up getting back together and ik we shouldn’t bc i don’t think i can -
realizes that he treated me badly but he misses me sm and it was a mistake to leave me and he hopes i can forgive him. he also said that the thought of me being in his life helps to keep him going, it gives him something to live for. he genuinely makes me feel so guilty. i understand he has issues -
wrong because he fucking hit me for christ sake. it was only a couple times but ik he shouldn’t have done that at all. but we’re still talking and we jst had this rlly long call where at first he was venting to me and i had to basically stop him from khs and he started apologizing to me saying he -
honestly jst gnna rant abt ts on here bc idk who to talk to and i need to say this somehow. i’m so fucking confused i know i don’t want to get back together with him because he made me feel like shit and he scared me. i’m self aware enough to know he’s prbly manipulating me and that he was in the -
breaking up did fucking nothing. he’s still making me feel like shit and touching me without my consent and got me involved with a whole bunch of drama. i want to completely cut him off but i cant
i was doing so well then i got high and binged so bad i don’t even wanna know how much i actually ate and i haven’t been able to stop binging since. i want to kms
UPDATE: WE BROKE UP
chat i am proper locked in atm (🙌🙌) but i’m pretty sure me and my bf are breaking up so what if he thinks that i “relapsed” because of him IT IS NOT he just thinks the world revolves around him I DONT WANT PEOPLE THINKING I GOT SKINNY BECAUSE OF A MAN
i’m so disgustingly fat
i hate leaving the house knowing i could be so much thinner
he also goes on abt me talking to him about what i’m going through but i cant bc he always has smt to complain about whenever i try and i understand he’s allowed to go through things and struggle as well but anytime i try to help he just completely judges me for what i’m doing and ignores me
my bf is pissing me off he’s getting on my back abt not relapsing and everything then says the most triggering stuff in the world???? i swear to fuck this boy never said anything like it before i told him abt my ed and sh
Anyone else take bodychecks to discourage yourself from eating? Like ew I look like that..
honestly kinda relapsing to spite my bf. he goes on abt how he doesn’t want me to get skinny bc it’s unattractive and then always complains about weight and calories in-front of me which he never did until he new i had an ed.
he also thinks he’s helping me by constantly sexualizing my body.
my mum just pointed out my scars as i was leaving the house to go to my friends i really cannot wait to deal with her when i’m home tmrw!!! 🤗
yeah ty i’ve drunk like 500cals worth so far so i’m gnna reset my fast once i’ve finished
does alcohol break a fast i don’t normally count drinks during my fasts but it’s so high cal idk
i need to kill myself i can feel the fat clumping up under my skin
dude i kinda wanted to eat dinner but i wasted all my fucking calories on vodka
like i feel embarrassed being around her bc i prbly look massive compared to her
i hate that i get so triggered by my bsf they used to be bigger then me but now they’re skinnier and genuinely have never really cared about how they look n stuff. i feel bad for even like thinking abt their body weight n shit but idk i can’t help it at least it helps me stay locked in i guess
Irl thinspo is so triggering omg I'm never going to eat again