If you had advice for your very young self, what would it be?

Mine: some men might seem quite interesting, and also very interested in your work, and in you as a person.

They're not. They're very horny and nothing else. That's it. There is nothing else to them. Actually nothing.

Me, with a teal t-shirt, bulky black framed specs, dark hair with teal, blue and purple hair, black eyeliner and brows, and teal panda eyeshadow.

Teal.

Bluthlu?

Cthulhu, except it's Mr Blobby, with pink skin and yellow spots, shining green eyes, black eyelashes, wings, a tentacled face, red snout, and seal shaped body and flippers

Blobby Cthulhu from another angle, in direct sunlight

Blobby Cthulhu from another angle in direct sunlight

Finished polymer clay abomination.

"I have looked upon all the universe has to hold of horror, and even the skies of spring and flowers of summer must ever afterward be poison to me." - HP Lovecraft

I'm really sorry to be "that guy" but we do have oil in the UK, I grew up Dorset which has had an operating Oil Field since the 60's (Kimmeridge) and the largest on-shore oil field in Western Europe at Wytch Farm on the Goathorn Penisula. Again, sorry.

Funny thing is that even fracking companies don’t want to do it. They gave it a big try with government support a few years back but the geology’s no good.

This has just reminded me, after Spike Milligan died I had a taxi driver say he couldn’t understand why he was depressed seeing as how he’d made it.

I said it was a condition, unclear if he always had it but getting shelled during the war gave him PTSD.

Driver angrily railed against it. Stunning.

Yeah, but I didn't know this either and I've lived in Dorset

I was gonna say "oil wells here? we've got coal" but apparently I'd've been wrong

Admittedly not enough oil and we ought to be stopping using it anyway but...

Ah, I stand corrected. In my defence, I was drunk as balls. X

Ah, I stand corrected. In my defence, I was drunk as balls. X

We legitimately don't have oil here. I did try to tell him, gently, that the oil is in the middle east, hence all the wars, but he got quite cross.

...if you haven't read about this, Donald Trump has always booked people with jobs, then refused to pay them afterwards, because Exposure. This is The Deal. This is also my experience of all jobs. This is also Donald Trump's way of doing Presidency and War.

It's all blagging it forward.

...I was told a bunch of very positive things, and other people were told a bunch of very positive things on my behalf, and we all got played, and all ended up owing money. This has been the story of every job I've had. We have all been Trumped...

Donald Trump is a blagger.

A hundred years ago, I was a singer/songwriter. I didn't want to be a star. I wasn't a strong singer, but I was shithot as a songwriter for other people, and that's what I wanted to do. Unfortunately, the industry, and my manager, had other ideas for me...

I'm no fan of Starmer, but I'm autistic enough to say things he's absolutely not guilty of.

Not racist or anything but tonight I had a very nice white guy taxi driver who blames Starmer for us not using the oil wells in England. I said some things, not in an aggy way, about a bit of gas near Scotland, but no oil here, and he didn't want to talk to me any more.

Ooh! I made that pic. I’d forgotten all about that.

The great William Conrad was 26 in The Killers.

Richard Vernon in Goldfinger looking far older than his 39 years.

Richard Vernon was only 39 in Goldfinger..

Next year I'll be 45... The same age John Thaw was when he started playing Morse.

The fabulous Roy Kinnear was only 36 in Wonka 😳🤯

At Live Aid, the “older” performers - Paul McCartney (43)
Mick Jagger (41)
Tina Turner (45)
Bob Dylan (44)
Eric Clapton (40)
David Bowie (38)
The Who (Roger Daltry was 41)
Paul Simon (43)

Ancient, man.

The Doctor Who version is equally worrying.

As a result of this unprompted attack, I shall be taking myself to my bed to wallow.

Bjork exists out of time. This is disrespectful. It's like saying rivers are teenagers.

The implacable relentlessness of time. x

There should be a specific word to describe things where part of the pain is the inability to leave it alone. TFI Friday was part of fond memories that mainly weren't to do with the actual show!

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