woke 2

The Onion wants to make us submissive slaves to the New world order.

Correct.

Fractures Emerge Between GOP’s Pro-Pedophilia, Extremely Pro-Pedophilia Wings

Trump Approval Polling:

Disapprove: 67% (+7)
Approve: 33% (-5)

AP-NORC / April 20, 2026

(% Change With March 23, 2026)

Got to say "one enema away from solving world hunger" on cable news' most watched show last night. InfoWars is already paying off.

this video is sooooo fucking good lmfaoooo

We go way back

Please leave it.

Collins said the new InfoWars won't only poke fun at the far right. He sees it as an opportunity to go after all the "stupid" stuff on the internet and beyond — like influencers pushing beef tallow, van lifers who "shove 80 kids into the back of an RV and call it a house," and AI guys who "have the very mind virus that they think everyone else has." "We want Infowars to be a place where you strive to be instead of a psychopathic website where they sell supplements for your broken penis," Collins said. In his view, there was only one good thing Jones did with Infowars: "It's a great logo. It's a great name for what's going on, unfortunately."

Our plans:

www.businessinsider.com/onion-ceo-pl...

Pablo is on an all-timer heater and @bencollins.bsky.social is an amazing guest. I am absolutely in love with this pairing.

That’s right

I'm 79.

Email membership@theonion.com and they'll fix you up ASAP.

Once again "the death of the West" meant "the death of my secret bank account."

The Strange Death of Orbánism Franz Pokorny

Hungarian taxpayers paid American “post-liberal” Rod Dreher $105,000 last year to produce propaganda for Orban’s regime. www.jaccusepaper.co.uk/p/the-strang...

INFOWARS @infowars Lies! Lies! Lies! The Epic Lies And False Reality That The Onion Lives In!

"The Onion lives in a false reality"

Couple minutes. Shirt’s on… for now.

I did just take 17 Brain Force Pluses so no guarantees.

I will be on @maddow.bsky.social’s show tonight to talk about InfoWars. Unlike the site’s current proprietor, I am not presently shirtless.

membership.theonion.com/iw, at long last, Global Tetrahedron takes over IW

Also, please sign up, get a tote and a newspaper, and you'll get first access to the new InfoWars.

membership.theonion.com/iw

never really had a doubt they were going to end up owning that stupid thing, no matter how long it took (also today is 27 years since columbine)

Tweet by INFOWARS @infowars Shirtless Alex Jones Jumps in to Explain the TRUTH About the Deceivers at THE ONION: “They're In Deep Sh*t... Just Because You're Wearing My Shirt, Don't Mean You're Me!" @HarrisonHSmith WATCH LIVE NOW NOW NOW NOW! x.com/i/broadcasts/1... [Video with a pink and shiny Alex Jones standing around in a studio having lost his shirt] LOW IQ [this is written on a baseball cap on the desk] I11:21 PM UTC+1 Apr 20, 2026

Two images stacked Top is a pink and shiny half-naked and possibly intoxicated Alex Jones standing around in a studio, having lost his shirt. There a bloke sat at a desk looking slightly confused. Lower image is the new Infowars logo which now has rainbow neon letters and The Onion logo where the O is. It's just beautiful

Alex Jones is taking it all really well 🙃

UNITED STATES DISTRICT COURT NORTHERN DISTRICT OF ILLINOIS EASTERN DIVISION UNITED STATES OF AMERICA No. 25 CR 693 v. MICHAEL RABBITT, et al. Judge April M. Perry GOVERNMENT'S UNOPPOSED MOTION FOR EXTENSION OF TIME TO SUBMIT GRAND JURY TRANSCRIPTS FOR IN CAMERA REVIEW The UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, by its attorney, ANDREW S. BOUTROS, United States Attorney for the Northern District of Illinois, respectfully submits this unopposed motion for an extension of time until April 23, 2026, to provide the relevant portions of the grand jury transcripts to the Court for an in camera review. On April 8, 2026, defendants filed their motion to compel disclosure of the grand jury transcripts. Dkt. 118. On April 9, 2026, this Court directed the government to respond or, in the alternative, provide the relevant portions of the transcripts to the Court for an in camera review by April 20, 2026. Dkt. 119. The government respectfully requests an extension of time until no later than April 23, 2026, to provide the Court all relevant portions of the transcripts as outlined in the defense motion, for an in camera review. This extension will allow the government the opportunity to obtain all relevant transcripts to provide the Court, which it has been seeking to obtain. The government has conferred with all defense counsels and they do not object to this request.

In the Chicago protesters criminal case:

1. Defendants' request grand jury transcripts on April 8.

2. Order on April 9 that DOJ has until April 20 to respond or submit relevant docs for court's review by April 20.

3. On April 20, DOJ asks for an extension until April 23.

The Onion Is Turning Alex Jones’ Infowars Into a Parody Site With a Rainbow Logo Love wins.

Love wins.

Merry X-Mas (Infowars is over)

theonion.info

InfoWars Let me tell you a story. When I was a child, I suffered from night terrors. It was always the same dream: I could hear my family and neighbors wailing…

Some timeline stuff:
— We expect to get InfoWars.com after the judge clears it in a couple of weeks.
— We'll build a world of characters on the site and across social media. Tim Heidecker is in charge, and we have grand designs.
— Visit theonion.info, buy a subscription, help us dominate the world.

Video: ‘Homophobic’ 6-Week-Old Baby Cries After Gay Dad Tells Him ‘There Is No Mama’

Maybe we'll keep some InfoWars content up.