help its my first time working the glory hole and i cant find the penis i texted my manager and he just sent me back a meme about big chungus what do i do

Canceling my NyTimes subscription because they have gone woke

My new vape electrocutes the dog collar I wear in the house if I hit it too much

The safest investment in my portfolio are all my shit coins that are already at 0.00000000003

Hitting the assisted suicide vape in the wing of the dementia ward will probably feel good as fuck in 60 years

The gym bros are learning. They discovered light contouring

Jarvis enhance. Jarvis increase the areola

Just remember that blackjack odds are not impacted by tariffs. Never stop gambling

This white boy is going to fight the tariffs by opening a Chinese restaurant

Trump might single-handedly curb the vaping epidemic due to prices shooting up on geek bars in the coming weeks

First they came for my sissy hypno porn and I did not speak out

Getting back into smoking cigs to quit vaping

Top 5 male cannon events:
1. Mom catching you watching porn
2. First love
3. Fist fighting your dad
4. Giving up on your dreams to work for corporate America
5. Transitioning into a woman

Healing sexual trauma through immersion therapy (getting gang banged)

Guys has anyone heard from Joe Biden lately? I’m worried

Using the NYC dating scene to upgrade my wardrobe and acquire expensive furniture

Alexander wept, for there was no more Greek towel boy cum to drink

I’m the ghost that haunts your local arcade. It’s my job to swat the balls away in ski ball and make sure you never hit the 50s or 100s

This series has big “what if I were a worm, girlfriend” energy

My favorite part of free market capitalism is when capitalists ban the sale and trading of goods

We have new management in the bedroom (my wife is back in my life) and she’s implementing new target KPIs for my my stroke to cum output ratio

I just can’t justify this price tag for a gym membership. My $25 a month gym has everything. Sure someone probably died here in the last year from caffeine and steroid abuse related injuries but it feels like home.

People that pay $200 per month for gym memberships pay to not work out. Having this membership means the poor actually lift the weights for you. You deserve to not struggle

I’m having a date come over tomorrow night but I don’t have time to go to the laundromat so I’m washing the cum stains out of my pillowcases in the kitchen sink tonight

I know they are :( they told me I’m an extra chromie homie today

Sipping on the shit I find in the back part of the toilet at work

Twitter being down is my 27th reason

Finding out I’m intersex just means if you ever thought I was attractive it means your Gay, no matter what your gender is

This time was preceded by an era where big business literally owned your labor. Company towns, company stores, etc. the presidency was owned by big business from McKinley to FDR (minus Roosevelt & Taft yrs)

The fight it took to get to the golden era of the blue collar worker was just that, a fight

I’m pretty sure I’m both