are you making him live in his fuckass container house from the mafia days

yes it's a picture of odasaku i'm crashing the fuck out

irl got tomodachi life and immediately added myphaidei and dazai+his treasured item, "photo of dead husband" in homage to me
i couldn't make this shit up if i TRIED

i miss writing and storytelling so much and most of all i miss having people to share my writing with so badly. It's to the point where i feel hurt by myself because i've been taking care of my duties instead of doing what i love

i just wanna cry until i pass out

despite the terrible sleeping habits i've anyways tried to sleep at least 3~4 hours a night but today i pulled my first all-nighter and that's how you know my mental and emotional state is fucked

"tell me you've been taught to repress and deny yourself without telling me you've been taught to repress and deny yourself" where do i even begin

how come am i only now realizing i feel ashamed of wanting a relationship where my partner genuinely adores me when that should be like. basic retirement number one for ANYONE

"and what do we say when we feel like that?"
"-and because the little mouse was in love with the moon, he climbed the tallest tree and made her a bouquet with stars-"
"get out of my office"

always wanting to leave when people want me to stay vs. being unable to move on even when everyone says it's better for me. if doing the opposite of what i'm supposed to do could kill i'd drop dead 50 times a day

it's rambling hours and i'm too exhausted but also too awake to have a filter so anyway. having such enduring feelings about everything genuinely sucks sometimes. especially when i want to move on from things, people, and situations

in other news. staying up late was a terrible idea and i can definitely see where at least half of my suicidal impulses were coming from before i finally started treating myself. that one meme about not trusting your thoughts after 9 pm holds doubly true if you get to 3 am still awake

yes i'm still as horrendously down bad as ever why do you ask. the oceans could boil over and the earth could be remade in flame and i'd still feel the same way over the things i love

returning from whatever fresh hell i'm going through this time to announce i added the long goodbye to my shopping cart. why is this title everywhere. from asagiri's list of inspirations for bsd to Every Phaidei Fic Ever. do i even KNOW what it is about??? absolutely the fuck not. do i CARE??? guess

i'm pretty sure he was 14 or 15 when he debuted, not even mentioning how young he was when he started training. it's genuinely shocking

Newborn sleepy kitten. Pathetic watery eyes and everything.

me. if you care

white hairstraind, showing that the desaturation is spreading even beyond her emanator form)
but i see your point, i just find desaturation more on theme for nihility than red

the black tide isn't just red though since the color darkens into black (finality) when concentrated
idk i see the red mostly as an accent color for nihility with its main color symbolism being shades of grey due to lack of saturation (especially because acheron in her non-emanator form has One™ (+)

but also like. if that is elio like people are saying i will genuinely end hoyoverse's entire career elio CANNOT be human he is a CAT i will refuse ANYTHING ELSE

"welcome back satoru gojo" WELCOME BACK KAFKA THE QUEEN OF SLAYING PEOPLE AND OUTFITS

#hsr half asleep. bored at work. broke and busy. in massive pain from my skin conditions. but god do i love my stellaron hunters, happy fucking version 4.2 to all of us. they're so cool

#hsr (so painfully broke i start hallucinating) waow i can't believe star rail released a wallpaper with only emanators

#hsr (← just saw the 4.2 banners) MY FUCKING POCKETS, BRO

fuli is pink, nanook is gold, ix is the lack of color (or should i say lack of saturation), terminus is black

#hsr one day i'm gonna talk at length about the associations between aeons and their respective colors/symbols, but today is not yet that day

#hsr today in: shit i said for the meme back in 3.2 that turned out to be confirmed by apollo's gift of prophecy

sorry i can't be bothered to do star rail shit rn my life is falling apart lmao

what is bro so smug about

genuinely dreamed i got 3 phainons in one 10 pull, then got so happy i woke myself up. day ruined in every way possible

shhhhhh she's undercover