I don’t want it anymore, it’s ruined ☹️

Brb sending this to my husband

$15 for a bottle of Ménage e trois is highway robbery

Trump's pick for FCC chair 👇

Looking through the past employee reviews for X, I can’t help but wonder how many of them were able to move to BlueSky

Can all of the yuppies complaining about Seattle going down hill leave already? I wanna buy a house and they’ve taken up all the primo real estate

when my yapping battery runs out and I just sit there like this

Dude has rocks for brains. You could shake him around and his head would rattle like a maraca

Every few months I’m reminded that my husband threw our car’s infotainment system into dev mode just to see if it’ll run Doom

overheard