[at the shoppers drug mart with my sniper friend]
ME: listerine huh.. not scope?
SNIPER FRIEND: sniping is just a job to me

twilight zone shower episode

I need a key
It's locked tight
Locked
I can't open that without a key
It won't budge
I should look for a key
I can't
Not yet
Perhaps there's a key...

Do you want a cigarette dipped in stamina potion

in my car on my lunch break just screaming and screaming and screaming

doing a spoken word rendition of somebody that i used to know

we should nationalize the nyt crossword

fuck ass pop

all bisexual people attract like stand users

ive been trapped in the piss dimension for ten thousand years

what a rush

if you put the minutes on your alarm its over for you

had an ssri dream that an evil wizard trapped me in a dungeon and i was posting pictures of myself on instagram captioned help somebody save me from this dungeon but then all the comments were just generic compliments and then the wizard got moderation to take all my posts down

thanks to you i can realize my dream of being murdered in a chipotle

and then we keep going until theres a tie

what if instead of mr game and watch he was called mr gay and woke. something to think about

smoke kind virus