These two are far more accurate than Jesus Trump healing Epstein.

Am I going to listen to Jimmy from Dirtclod Kansas over Michael Jordan on the matters of basketball?

Then why would I listen to a truck stop turd who became a real boy who then fucks couches over The Pope when it comes to religion?

Stupid genie, granting a wish to a semi sentient floating shit log

"Look, I appreciate the couch's revulsion, but couches just don't understand a human male's carnal desires, their needs."

~JD Vance c.2026

My two idiots are like the gang of police on the show C.O.P.S. where they're screaming, "drop the knife! drop the knife! drop the knife! drop the knife! drop the knife! get on the ground! don't move! move to the left! stop! drop the knife! drop the knife! get down!" and the bug never listens to them

MAGA morons would buy 3D printer water if it was marketed as Freedom Water or some shit. No one steal that grift from me. I need to make money off it before Trump bottoms out the value of our dollar.

I wonder if Anthropic is calculating the $1.5 billion dollar settlement they'll be paying out to thousands of authors like me for stealing our copyrighted work (class action settlement).

Then again, I wonder if we'll actually see any of that money.

Fluoride in drinking water has no effect on IQ or brain function, a long-term study shows.

The new research is the first to measure community water fluoridation exposure during childhood and any potential impact on cognition up to age 80.

The results contradict RFK Jr. statements.

Why are the MAGA chuds mad about Trump portraying himself as Jesus?

These same chuds have been equating him to Jesus, praising him as being Jesus reincarnated, even shouting about he is better than Jesus. Like he's Super Jesus.

So why are they burning their shit and crying on social media?

Next we need to bring back NBA JAMZ so I can dominate with Gary Payton and Shawn Kemp. Nothing better than blasting John Stockton into the rafters then power dunking a fireball right in Karl Malone's face hahahaha BOOOOM SHAKALAKALAKALAKA hahaha giggle snort (throws controller when they win anyway).

I'm a WNBA player. Don't use athletes like me to exclude trans women. IOC's policy invites unequal scrutiny. We cannot choose our genes or chromosomes, but we can choose whether we protect the dignity of every athlete.

@rikiwilchins.bsky.social 2026 Apr USAtoday
Top WNBA player op-ed today: "I'm a WNBA player. Don't use athletes like me to exclude trans women. I've played with and against people who are transgender and intersex and never experienced any unfair advantage."

Come on, fucko, explain how why you support the idiot who is helping Israel commit genocide, bombing girls in school, threatening to nuke Iran, is a convicted rapist, is a pedophile, sends ICE to murder American citizens and kidnap legal immigrants then throw them on concentration camps.

So go on, tell me how you convinced yourself and others that Harris supporter genocide and voted for, let me check, a rapist pedophile who overwhelmingly supports Israel commiting genocide in Gaza and now moving on to Lebanon (while aggressively trying to do the same in Iran). I'm waiting.

You mean the guy who you love who is giving bombs and support to Israel to commit the same genocide you ignorant twats accused Harris of? The same genocidal government who is now indiscriminately bombing Lebanon? And Iran?

I get that you support a rapist pedo kidnapper. Or you're paid to.

Get fucked, troll. Another either ignorant maga smooth brain or Russian troll. Bye (muted because I don't have time to argue with children who support pedophile convicted rapists who bomb little girls in school and praise the genocide of Palestinians in Gaza and now Lebanon... So fuckin' pathetic).

All you bots and trolls are so fuckin' easy to bait. Put a plate of fresh fecal matter out and you all slurp it up and beg for more. Get fucked, troll. And muted.

Your orange master is famously racist, sexist, he's a convicted rapist, he fucks children, bombs little girls, kidnaps
foreign leaders, is pro genocide by supporting Israel commiting it in Gaza and now Lebanon. So you support rapist pedophile murderers. Got it. Why would you support such a thing?

I'll swallow someone who wanted to forgive student loans, help first time home buyers, expand civil rights, decrease the wage gap, invest in America, and not kidnap foreign leaders, murder boaters in the Caribbean, start wars, bomb little girls, fuck children, shit his diaper. Yes. Get fucked, troll

And here come either the smooth brains or foreign actors trying their Twitter bullshit.

Trump hates Muslims. He's made this clear. He made it clear during the campaign he sided with Israel.

I don't have time to argue with mentally disabled maga posers or Russian trolls.

Get fuck (and muted).

No one gives a shit about the DNC or it's stupid fuckin' autopsy. America is a racist misogynistic patriarchy and morons who try to make shit a single issue campaign (convincing dipshits that Trump, a famous hater of Muslims, would save Palestinians) like you are is what caused this mess.

And right, the DNC, the voice of the people who squeezed Bernie out. Who keep supporting center-right candidates. Who have been silent unless billionaires cry to them and then they bow before their corporate masters. The only people who respect and believe the DNC are the DNC execs.

Right. It's always Israel that cost her the election. Not the fact she's a woman. A brown woman. It's 100% Israel. Not the misogyny that has been fueled by online dipshits who keep trying to blame it on Israel. Who got other dumbass smooth brain dipshits to believe Trump would protect Palestinians.

Some of my life highlights:
Berlin Wall falls
Soviet Union dissolves
Gay marriage legalized
Marijuana (mostly) legalized
Mets won a World Series
Orban\Hungary loses to supermajority

Few things to see before I die:
Trump imprisoned until death
Severance has proper ending
Kraken win a Stanley Cup

So is this where Skynet first starts figuring out how to eliminate humans?

This is all I can picture when he speaks.

Don't forget, there's video evidence that he literally shits his diaper in public (Oval Office). Let us never forget America elected a child predator who shits himself regularly.

Trump healing an Epstein co-conspirator so the dude can get back to work providing children to wealthy predators. Or keep running interference on the Epstein files. Or both.

Smooth brain MAGA chuds are still blaming illegal immigrants, "the transgenders," and liberal lamestream media. You can't reason with these people. You can't convince them they are wrong about Trump. They will move the goalposts, invent strawmen, and counter with factless Facebook posts.

Vance fucks couches and has a beard-wife. Humiliation is just another of his kinks.

As much as I hate Kalshi and all the betting nonsense that has overpowered American television, sports, and streaming, I think I'll place a couple of wagers on what finally brings an end to the diaper shitting presidency.

But I'm not telling you which ones I'm betting on. Can't be splitting the $$