This is Pulitzer shit right here.

A frog on a unicycle with the text that says “here come plague boi!!! Oh shit let my people go!”

This is my sixth year posting this

It's actually really fucked up watching so many people clamor to watch a new television series created by a woman who has proudly bragged she'll use the money she makes to try and kill my entire community.

I reckon this is that parable about when Jesus was visiting his first girlfriend's mum and dad's hoose, and when he flushed the toilet the water just kept on rising.

I reminded my 10 year old it was nearly time to watch the film and she said, “oh GREAT, nearly time to CRY. AGAIN.”

Pls do not leave out your transatlantic sisters who are desperate to get the goss

friend, this is Marcus Junius Brutus

CAESAR has declared himself DICTATOR FOR LIFE and MUST BE STOPPED

can you rush a donation of ten denarii today to show that you STAND WITH THE REPUBLIC?

Europeans when asked to help unblock the strait of Hormuz:

Fern Brady wearing a camera helmet on Taskmaster and opening the task, which has a red wax seal, and reading the contents. She has a purple set of coveralls on as well, which is just fun.

"Open the Strait of Hormuz. You may not receive the help of any other sovereign nation. Fastest wins."

On so much high-quality gack she probably shits sticks of chalk

Almost worth living for 🥰🥰🥰

It’s you!!

Soooo howwww’s it goingggg

Not saying the kids in it won’t need therapy, but.

The BBC’s new Lord of the Flies is exxxxxxxcellent.

You have to have one of each or you’ll be living like hermits or tsars.

I also have the Death Cold. It’s gone transatlantic.

A moist owlet, with murder in its tiny heart, stares at you from a bathtub, where it floats the way ducks don't.

Um... excuse me?

I'm. In. The. Bath.

At the current rate, by the end of the year the UK will go through over 50 prime ministers, each one worse than the last, until the last one is literally just Gollum devouring raw fish in an abandoned coal mine under Wales. He will also be in the Epstein files.

Impeccable state-visit-related timing...

this weekend i visited a beloved local cafe/record store and they had a bathroom labeled "Gay Bathroom". when we complimented the sign the barista said sometimes shitty people ask if there's a different bathroom they can use, so they have a second one in the other room labeled "Super Gay Bathroom"

I truly can’t even remember if it’s Blue Sky or Bluesky or Blusky or what but anyway thanks to my phone for storing my password. Those agents would never have gotten in super easily with the security I’ve got running

So what happened was, I deleted all my social media before entering the US in July, and then I forgot I even had a Blue sky account or had ever even heard of blue sky. And then my husband proudly posted a picture of a tin of pie and I wanted to see how much he was upsetting people so now I’m back

Sorry, guys, forgot I had a blue sky account till this evening. Did we settle on snow Jews yet?

I litttttterally forgot I had an account but I have been reminded and your message is well received (and true, I’m writing this from a Swedish cult)

But what if they don’t have usb-c chargers on literally every street corner!

Matt was running around panicking about chargers and adapters like he was going on an 18th century voyage and I was like WE ARE GOING TO MIDTOWN MANHATTAN IT’S FINE. You can take the man out of the British empire…

Oh that’s much better, except for the stress of making everything fit. I’m doing the “we drive to the airport tomorrow afternoon and I’m not sure where all the suitcases are” stage 😭😭😭😭

Saaaaame

fuck this reminded me I need to do my car insurance renewal!!