Always a bit sore that Chemistry, Physics and so on get Nobel prizes but not Maths.

I mean, they even give one for sandwiches.

Website pop ups: “Reject cookies”

Me: Mmmm. Broken biscuits.

They’re right. The helmets in Nolan’s new Odyssey film are completely wrong.

“Men used to go to war”

And they used to not come back, too.

What a troubling normality to long for.

Merry Festivities to all

And if you get the gift receipts too: many happy returns.

Happy Solstice

Axial tilt is the reason for the season

Why do so many Christians think abstinence is so great?

It didn’t work for Mary.

Can you imagine a British guy being called “Graham Craig” or “Craig Graham” and going to the US?

The best time to take bacon out the freezer was yesterday.

The second best time is now...

Mum missed me when I left for uni. I sneaked home as a surprise, and jumped out at her and Dad for a laugh. But this was Northern Ireland in 1993, I was dressed in goth black, and Dad was police. The poor guy thought the IRA had come to kill him. Still feel awful about it.

We talk about queer coding, but no one accounts for null.

Asexuals enter the chat and half the system crashes in confusion.

One does not simply walk into Mordor.

But you can get there on the Orient Express.

This morning I made a cup of coffee to have with my bowl of cereal.

It was an hour later that I realised I'd left it next to the kettle.

Caffeine is required to remember that you need caffeine, and sometimes I feel like this is too 'keys locked inside the car' for my life.

Earth really is a giant computer. Just not one designed to find The Ultimate Question.

In 1993 the mice showed that they could run DOOM on a planet.

I only wave back at someone who has people behind them. That way if it turns out they were waving at someone else, I can pretend the same.

Because my parents gave me a name starting with “A”, I have always gotten a lot of buttdials. But the people I blame most for it are the companies that allow calls to connect to me in the first place.

“It builds character” is Big Psychiatry’s customer acquisition strategy

Bisexual lighting is just all the not-visible-anymore bisexuals standing around with their auras.

I saw an advert for a "Free Will Service" but I'm a Determinist and couldn't use it, even if I wanted to.

The Mandela Effect is wild: except I remember it being the called the Penguin Effect.

Whole world remembered that penguins disappeared from zoos in ‘86; but instead the world was missing otters. Now neither happened and they named it after some random guy I’ve never heard of called Mandela.

And I have been working on this one for literally years. I think I’m finally happy with it.

Any man can make a pun; but only a dad can nurture it until it’s fully groan.

Let’s be clear about what happened to Jimmy Kimmel Trump’s most brazen attack on free speech yet.

After years of complaining about cancel culture, the current administration has taken it to a new and dangerous level by routinely threatening regulatory action against media companies unless they muzzle or fire reporters and commentators it doesn’t like.

a cat is wearing a black mask on its face ALT: a cat is wearing a black mask on its face

Read about someone sending bat memes to the wrong friend’s wife for years. So she probably thought he was the bat person.

And now I can’t shake the thought: maybe that’s how cats got popular. No one’s a cat person; we’ve all just mistaken each other into it.

Iconic moment at the Downton Abbey premiere

I saw a 32 year old refer to themselves as an “elder emo” the other day.

I immediately crumbled into dust and since then all words have ceased to have meaning.

They should bring in Kevin Kline like in Dave and just everyone agrees to pretend that he looks exactly like Trump.

Someone after a work meeting where I’ve said absolutely nothing

I want to explain a few things and then it might be clearer why UK trans people are upset.
In 2001 I married my wife, Sylvia.
In 2005 I started medical transition. (1/13)

I wonder if autistics with a need for more routine have a tendency of changing jobs less frequently than others in similar roles.