a man in a suit and tie says the future is looking pretty bleak snl ALT: a man in a suit and tie says the future is looking pretty bleak snl

The old men are getting territorial over the ebike parking spots outside woolies.

a young man holding an empty wallet with the words as you can see i 'm broke ALT: a young man holding an empty wallet with the words as you can see i 'm broke

Some junkie broke into my car. I WISH I saw the roller-coaster of emotions in finding a wallet in the console! which was empty, then various tap and go cards! but theyre all expired. Then they can't steal it because it's a manual and there's fuck all petrol in it.

No damage though, so that's nice.

a person 's finger is pointing at a mushroom that looks like a penis ALT: a person 's finger is pointing at a mushroom that looks like a penis

Well, that's over, and now we can all move on and never speak of it again.

Right?

First day back at work in 5 weeks and there's 4 pallets of stock to go out, a new planogram due tomorrow, a not new enough anymore to get away with it guy that creates more work than he completes, the EFT was down all day, only 1 register was working and my eye twitch is back.

Happy Spooky Day if you celebrate

I was aggressively marketed at.

There are worse places to wait for your dog to get out of his hair and nail appointment. Except my hands smell like opshop.

a woman is smiling in front of a screen that says wranglers projector tech and upper ALT: a woman is smiling in front of a screen that says wranglers projector tech and upper

Switching from an electric toothbrush to a sonic one for the first time

🖤

Beautifully dreary autumn day ft bougiest candle, trendiest book, and my personal guard ewok.

Entirely awful at folding the laundry.

👋🚀💥🌞

a close up of an elderly man 's face with a reaction gifs.me watermark ALT: a close up of an elderly man 's face with a reaction gifs.me watermark

I'm so old, I worked at a polling place tonight and I enjoyed it.

a man wearing a vest and tie says woo in front of a snl logo ALT: a man wearing a vest and tie says woo in front of a snl logo

Just finished an induction at a new job that sells craft stuff and Manchester, and it is TOXIC AS FUCK IN THERE

Dreamt there was an octopus living under my bed, and Costa from Gardening Australia was filming a segment on it, but I couldn't be there because I had to nail everything down due to the ghosts constantly slamming/opening/moving stuff and it was scaring the dog.

Perambulating.

The new couch passes the most stringent of comfort testing.

a man with long black hair is wearing a hooded jacket and gloves . ALT: a man with long black hair is wearing a hooded jacket and gloves .

The sun literally just made me feel gross and tired as soon as I stepped into it. I don't know how the Vampires have done it for so long. Feeling very empathetic rn.

I've recently discovered an op shop near me whose pricing is all determined by an elderly lady behind a plexiglass screen at the door. Not a price tag to be seen on anything, just what she says plus .50c she doesn't tell you about for using your card. Chaos.

Maintain decorum? Get fucked. #SOTU

a man with a beard is dancing in a park while a woman sits in a chair . ALT: a man with a beard is dancing in a park while a woman sits in a chair .

Does the dying pope and a great nation shitting themselves have anyone else's hippie parent/(s) quoting Nostradamus? Also, who the F is Baba Vanga

One time, in primary school, the classroom was so hot that the girl behind me passed out with heatstroke, and that was ok and normal. The 90s was different.

Anyway, I'm grown now, and I'm skipping class to go sit by some water in the shade.

Started chatting to a woman on a dating app in the first few days of Covid lockdown. Met up a couple of days later and had sex in car park. After a week of this she started planning the rest of our lives together so I pretended to have Covid and faked my own death.

a woman is sitting in a chair with the words in this weather with all that blue sky and sunshine below her ALT: a woman is sitting in a chair with the words in this weather with all that blue sky and sunshine below her

TIL you can have Seasonal Affective Disorder in summer.

a close up of a barbie doll 's face with blue eyes ALT: a close up of a barbie doll 's face with blue eyes

Oh gods, I think I've gained another dog.

a man with a mustache is laughing with his mouth open in a blue shirt . ALT: a man with a mustache is laughing with his mouth open in a blue shirt .

Oh gosh. He wants to make Gaza the 'Riveria of the Middle East'

DIVORCE

Episode 4 of MAFS right, and where the fuck do I find the person that gave these less than mediocre men the audacity?! FUCK they need a kick in the dick. Daily.

I'm working, mums having surgery, his aunty and cousin are both working, and his grandpa's unavailable, so Boo's had a valium, got his thunder shirt on, aircon going and curtains drawn (except for a peeping gap).

He's gonna have the best day of all of us.