hittin the vape outside the club at 3am:

still think it’s funny that there was no “Danny boy” at my grandmas funeral like in a good way tho

gave them gluten and they asphyxiated on the spot

my first table last night had a soy, dairy, corn/corn starch, and gluten allergy all from one person and it’s just like bitch how do you even eat?? why even go out to a restaurant???

Do mine

Gov. Gavin Newsom: ‘I disagree’ with calls to abolish ICE The 2028 presidential contender came out against calls to dismantle ICE after an agent fatally shot a Minneapolis woman.

What makes Gavin Newsom such a skilled politician is that he stands up to Trump’s bullying with piping hot memes AND is able to agree with Trump about policy

www.sacbee.com

just to continually keep us all on the ground: ICE murdered an unarmed mother of 3 and now the federal government wants you to believe her wife, who watched her die, was paid to mourn her

was going to put my headphones in when i got in this lyft but dark horse by katherine perry ft juicy j came on and i was like wait dj turn it up

microdosing mental breakdowns

Bone and muscle is not good weight loss, in case one was wondering

crashing at my mom’s place while i’m in town/she’s out of town and she told me she left me skin care stuff and uh… all of it has the word “experimental” on the bottle so…?

omg yas miss thing don’t cover your mouth while you’re coughing all over the touch screen directory at the airport, slay!

kitchen let me play my music tonight as a little christmas present and they regretted it about 20 minutes in

okay fat….

maybe if you ordered something different…

fka twigs coming to mpls just gonna need a minute

work mirror says i’m obese, at home mirror says i’m just chubby… what’s the truth..

I’ll beat his meat

the santa in the dick’s sporting goods commercial i just saw did not need to be that hot? t’was weird.

maybe i’ll enter my slutty era again who knows

i don’t oops

this is the only place i can complain about work bc my boss follows me on twitter

Because a) i will go out of my way to give a list of places to go, the fun places to go that suits your vibe.
B) you sitting in my section for four hours literally makes me not get money.

as a server there are two things that offend me the most:
1) giving recommendations to local spots, especially from out of state people, like cool bars, clubs, etc.
2) sitting at a table in my section for several hours with like a $50 tab and then tipping like 15%

four year anniversary of this fucked up situation

with her mockingly thanking her workers for making her a millionaire, replying all to an email talking mad shit about her workers saying they won't be missed & the overreaction to the unionization at Kim's, all done with a cockiness that I haven't seen from other chefs, she earned the backlash

funniest citizen alert to wake up to

next summer i will be growing tomato and basil and living off caprese nonsense

DC Animated universe is literally the best thing that has ever happened to superhero media and i will not debate this because i’m right. I will say it’s followed by marvel animated pre’2000’s.