American sees something American happening Americanly etc etc.

Was not expecting that Shyamalan-ian twist after the 1:08 marker.

Whenever I’m wearing a mask & I see someone look at me and then put on a mask that they were hiding in their pocket, it makes me feel great.
It’s so much easier to blame the individual vs the system that creates this scenario, but it sucks that so many people just don’t want to get looked at weirdly

You know, those door-to-door sales people but for religion

My ex is in the news again

The space episode in particular had me in stitches for like days

Oh thank god so this won’t be for nothing

Holding in diarrhea turns it back into poop right

Jumping in front of a drivers ed car to radically change their driving habits forever

I hate that I forgot how that word is actually pronounced

Really miss the days when if you heard someone saying this nonsense while looking and sounding like this you’d just respond, sorry buddy i don’t have any change.

Worst time to be in your emulsion era

This is what I say when i open balatro

As someone who suffers from celiac disease I hate how all the gf alternatives have an ungodly amount of shit yourself fibre. Like I want to finally be free of this.

*holding out my phone* pls look at this stranger’s cat and admire it with me

Time to spend $50 on cooking oils again

I think I need a cat to help out

If this public service was free then we wouldn’t need these stupid assholes harassing people

Komoucha girl reacting negatively to ‘Zionist nightmare’ but positively to ‘Zionist’s nightmare’

This came to me when I was talking to a friend about why they shouldn’t be moving to Germany

I feel like upping the speed to 4x in balatro makes it seem like I have an addiction, which I do not.

Someone please recommend a good recent horror movie cause the last few I’ve seen have been absolute stinkers

Do you think Galen Weston has cashed his $200 cheque from the government yet

How was that university not free for everyone??

We shouldn’t have had to voted, we should’ve just … you know … along with doing that to the others.

I think we can get this even lower

Yeah, I’m an artist. Yeah, I live paycheck to … uhhhhh.

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again: the wrong fucking Ford died.