ough fuck 🇺🇲 fr

L - Lo and
B - Behold,
G - Caesar hath returned
T - To Rome

Jimmy Savile and General Pinochet’s best mate Maggie Thatcher, rest in piss

Happy dead witch day to all who celebrate! This bitch has been roasting for 11 years today 🍾

essential eggclipse viewing tips!

- do not stare at the sky egg without the proper unguents
- sky egg will begin hatching when it is at its zenith
- when the shadowbird wriggles free from the skyhole, start the chanting
- if you're in the zone of totality there is no escape
- have fun out there

There won't be peace until Mondays mean the same for me and for a millionaire.

christian bf: honey will you come to church with me on easter

calvinist gf: no, i'm telling you, calvin and hobbes were *real people*, bill waterson was a prophet,

the demonlord Gragnar who lives under my bed: Gragnar

no one in their right mind would possibly design a system in which it is theoretically possible to lose the popular vote 4-1 and still win the presidency. it's a stupid anachronism

buddy you wouldn't last a day in my subconscious. i woke up this morning with a jazz song in my head that doesn't exist

scooting around in my motorized lettuce

Men are often very taken aback when you reveal that you actually take violence against women and vulnerable people very seriously. They’re like oh sorry! I thought you were like me and found it all kind of funny and unimportant

writers should get together and have fancy blank notebook swaps where we can refresh/shuffle up our fancy blank notebook supply without spending any more money on yet more fancy blank notebooks

Why do the billionaires who are obsessed with building space rockets never fund stuff like this

keeping myself sharp by asking myself tough questions like “what happened yesterday” and “what was I planning on doing just now”

It me.

finally

every now and then my brain rediscovers music like bears discovering fire or prometheus' eagle discovering liver & for the duration I'm stuck wondering why I haven't been listening to music constantly every moment of my life

A painting of a bird beside the text "dude, what the ever loving fuck"

the current sunset in mpls against part of the skyline. with the clouds, it goes from blue/periwinkle to pink/orange to orange/yellow & tbh looks like a painting.

if you live in the mpls/stp area, the sunset absolutely fucks right now

MAKE SOME NOISE FOR 👹😵ETRUSCAN BOAR VESSEL😱👹

A drawing of a realistic human heart, in pencil, with an ornate, Victorian knife & fork on either side like a place setting.

"(medium rare)", graphite on paper, 10x14", 2021 (private collection)

you’re in her dms. i have mounting evidence that she committed a string of murders in the late 90s. we are not the same

Say what you will about Ea-Nasir, but he sure as hell would never violate 18 U.S.C. § 1519 by failing to preserve any "any record, document, or tangible object" potentially subject to federal investigation.

His business records outlived his entire goddamn civilization.

Ancient Mesoamerican cultures were undefeated at having ceramic vessels that were also just a little guy