I swear if I don’t win Little Miss Reynaud’s this year I’m hella bad at winter

If you’re a local business, restaurant, or service provider and you share AI slop to advertise, I’m sorry but I’m not going there. Share a pixelly little drawing that your nephew made in MS Paint in 2006, sign me up!

The Big Black Square In every reflection, I saw a happier version of myself—and I finally understood why.

A woman returns home to a town reshaped by a black cube that promises happiness and delivers something else.

Read or listen to "The Big Black Square," a new short story by Kasey Soska for free. Edited by Natalia Emmons. Artwork by @jonnegroni.bsky.social

www.ceteramagazine.com/the-big-blac...

Thrilled to share my dark fiction story, The Big Black Square, which was published today in @ceteramagazine.bsky.social. A woman returns to her hometown, where an unusual building has been constructed. No one will tell her a thing about it. Peep the incredible artwork by @jonnegroni.bsky.social

I don’t know who is writing these commercials with talking dogs. But dogs don’t have normal human voices. They have little speech-implemented cute voices and refer to themselves in the third person.

I'd spend 20 mins hearing about someone's dream rather than 2 mins on their D&D campaign. I say this as a DM. I can wrap my head around "it was like my grandma's house but it wasn't!" I cannot feign interest in "Stich and Flick the dragon twins a goddess made from a mirror our bard broke"...

Dead. All Dead.

Any recommendations on local churches that have either a grossly unattended choir showcase or for-no-reason open choir rehearsal? I'm a child and would like to sit quietly and think about how to hurt burglars and maybe chat up my scary neighbor.

They really did a good job of making the internet funny.

This Thanksgiving, I can't wait to hear from my MAHA/MAGA cousin and her bf all about what great new poisons RFK Jr is going to protect us from. She'll be doing this while downing two bottles of wine and he'll interject his opinions while darting outside to smoke every hour.

Oh I know. My brain just absolutely autocompletes that a Nordisk is like an obsolete USB stick or something

Gang, I'm sorry but I'm forever going to assume Novo Nordisk makes jazz drives or zip disks or some big-ass floppy drive. Maybe, maybe SD cards for Switch 2. And somehow they fell back-assward into pharmaceuticals.

I’m really hoping some tissue company figures out how to market their “stronger than ever box” for killing spiders.

Republicans sure hate when people change their names to align with their gender identity. But have no problem wasting millions to change the name of a government department or a body of water.

How do you say "Yabba dabba doo" in Korean?

The furiously masturbating reanimated creature is Crankenstein’s Monster. Crankenstein is just a dude who jacks it.

You don't really hear about cartoon crossovers anymore. What I wouldn't give for a bunch of my favorites joining together on one VHS to tell me about the dangers of vaping.

The only NFT I’d pay for is a little boomerang of my dog eating pizza crust

I wish our robovac expended the same effort in trying to overturn the dog's water dish as it did getting over the miniscule hump of carpet into our guest room.

Our country may be divided, but we can all agree the best middle of a song is at 2:39 into Sufjan Stevens's "Should Have Known Better." Sorry I won't be taking follow ups.

The most apt comparison for Wicked group choreography are fight scenes in a bad kung fu flick. A litany of shambolic movement distracts you from the fact that no one is actually trying to punch the good guy. Similarly, I couldn't tell you if any individual is singing or where they are in the scene.

It sure would be nice to see a modern movie musical where the choreography for group numbers was more than an inscrutable cacophony of flipping and jumping, and you could discern whether someone was singing or not.

You ever think about who Scooby Doo's favorite character in Jujutsu Kaisen is? You ever think about how it's the year 2025 and we don't have this answer? That's what wrong in America. We don't think about the things we don't think we don't know we think about.

What an amazing tour de force! Oprah (Winfrey) was featured on the covers of O Quarterly, O Magazine, and O Daily! Truly wonderful news for her. Congratulio

If you played Roundball Rock to someone unfamiliar with the NBA on NBC, they’d probably ask what 3DS-era JRPG it was the mini-boss battle music for

I can only assume the recent trend of reduced Pringles sales is in lock with fewer Mega Man games. So weird boys don’t need to put a salty tube on their arm and yell “Get Equipped with Bubble Lead” at family gatherings.

This was a tough year to narrow down my favorite songs. Normally I wouldn't share this many, but these ONE HUNDRED songs are incredible. There's a mix of indie, jazz, pop, country, classical, R&B, punk, rap, funk, metal, and electronic.
Links to Youtube, Spotify, and Apple Music beacons.ai/janus1172

Okay hear me out. What if Biden pardons all of the January 6 participants? They're going to get pardoned anyway and what an absolute petty move. Then invite them all to the White House to have Burger King and Pepsi Zero.

All of these fake alibi posts for Luigi Mangione are so ridiculous and stupid. Especially because on Dec 4 from 6am-6pm I was holding him in my basement “terror room,” subjected to hours of brutal mental torment through drug induced nightmares, then dropped off in Altoona so he could nab a McGriddle

Now that most places don't stamp passports anymore, the only travel log I have is the list of joined WiFi networks.

Oh the memories of connecting to "HeathrowAirport" WiFi...