yeah i'm thinking the president is gonna drop nukes tomorrow. i'm longdon faceman

i, the character Mitch Headbig, have decided to end my own life. goodbye now

i used to have a big head. i still do, but i used to, too

goodbye Andy Rooney 2026 hello Mitch Headbig

NEW CHARACTER INCOMING

a lot of instagram commenters say we don't need more coffee shop slash bookstores in Ridgewood, but i have to wonder where they expect to go for canned hard seltzer on a weeknight without running into a weekly stand-up comedy show or a pop-up inclusive speed dating event; Aunt Ginny's??

i try not to take modern conveniences for granted. i like my coconot flavored coffee from Cholita, even if they are soft-canceled, and i like attending my polycule metamour's spoken prose night at Dada, even if they're soft-canceled too. it doesn't keep me up at night, that's what the coffee is for.

call me old-fashioned, but i don't care for this new trend of treating particles as waves. i find the implications of the double-slit experiment bothersome. i should be able to fire an electron gun without worrying about probabilistic distribution. i say we pick one; particles, preferably.

i couldn't enjoy my morning cheerios without worrying about the hull integrity of the box it came in. i certainly don't miss that. but marketing schemes have moved on, and even clipping coupons has gone the way of the dodo. so i guess i'll play my indie roguelikes and ignore the Crysis. pun intended

maybe that's the price we pay for devoting so many of our GPU cycles to mining crypto. that's another thing i can't wrap my head around. if i wanted to buy something without using real money, i'd start collecting box tops again. that was one heck of a concept. who came up with that brilliant idea?

video games today are a far cry from the ones i remember - no pun intended. these new releases with graphics reminiscent of Newgrounds - yes, i'm talking about Mewgenics - aren't the sort of high polycount pov ray spectacles we can clock our graphics cards with.

even then, the idea of a third color never occured to us; an orange man. cheetos hadn't been invented yet, the only foods we could even compare him to would be actual oranges. or perhaps carrots. we've made a lot of progress since then, but i do think we had the right idea about orange presidents.

growing up i took it for granted that we had a president who wasn't orange. at the time, none of us even considered that an option. we always picked white color presidents, and eventually, also black. just once. well, twice, but it was the same person each time.

⚠️ NEW CHARACTER INCOMING ⚠️

This makes sense. I am now aware of the context.

I'm not certain. Need more context.

You have provided even less context than the original post had. Good day.

THANK you! We need context, people.

Context for this? Not sure we're getting the full picture here...

I'm the one who is asking.

A wizard did it

Whoa, where is this hostility coming from? Context?

In 1980, the Usenet (User's Network) discussion system launched; and from which rose a digital messaging culture and etiquette that still influences us to this day. But I get ahead of myself. You see, as a result of the ARPANET project in 1966 to enable resource-sharing between computers,

Astronauts looking at the Earth from space, one holding a gun to the other, captioned "always has been" -- based on the December 11th, 2016 /r/dankmemes post by wiegand6 and popularized two years by an anonymous 4chan post codifying the template we see today.

Hey now, are you contextualizing me?

Sorry. Sounds rough. But without context my sympathies will ring hollow.

Normalize putting context in your posts. 👏

Can I get a smidgen of context, m'lord?

Context on this? I'd like to be aware of it, please.

Is there any context here i ought to be aware of?