A busy town cat in his live streaming setup
a busy town dog doing food delivery
a busy town mouse, rabbit, and bear doing reaction video content
lowly worm on a scooter with messenger bag
A busy day
ChatGPT: you’re right you’re so much smarter than him. He’s so schlubby and you’re so suave. Columbo will never catch you.
Yes, the Grink was there. I'm getting to that. He was on that island with me. And I wouldn't be alive to tell my story without him.
"my heart has joined the hundreds and thousands, for my chocolate friend stopped running today"
I saw Queens of the Stone Age perform in a bookstore.
Me: ok, that's the last straw
My manager at the straw mine: great job, let's head back
One of my favorite styles of album cover is just “dog in situation.”
and their wonderful selection of sausages!
coupe or cup???? but enough about the vessels in which to serve me delicious Champagne wine
i hope Sufjan Stevens watches the Testament of Ann Lee. i think he'd really like it
me (bursting open my apartment window like ebenezer scrooge): you there, boy! did it happen?
boy (gloomily): no sir
my god, Thomas O'Malley from the Aristocrats is SUCH an Oliver Reed look
hahahaha as long as there's a sexy Oliver Reed cat (or dog??) i'm in
Instagram: Here’s the first half of something funny that dril posted, do you want to see it?
[Click]
Splash page: Welcome to the wonderful world of Threads. Get ready to download the app and find out what all your favorite Threadsters are saying.
Me: No. Fuck. Fuck!!
this is so good
It’s too late, I have already portrayed myself as Chortling Bernie and you as Seething Eric Adams
In every photograph I've ever seen of Shel Silverstein he looks like he only sleeps with married people
Nice acquaintance. Auld?
[shoving yeats into a locker] how’s the gyre fuckass
[speaking with H.H. Holmes]
Again, in your price range, there are not going to be any options for "entire hotels with murder rooms for ladies already built in there."
continuing a streak of comics for exclusively birders with the brilliant @willsantino.bsky.social
I bet Liberace liked it when the Chordettes called out his hair for being particularly good in "Mr. Sandman". I bet that's a really nice feeling
I would just live my life so that Joyce Carol Oates does not feel the need to destroy me.
A cartoon drawing of an exasperated wolf holding a sheet of tractor feed computer paper that is composed entirely of tear-off tractor holes. Text above him reads "TRACTOR FEED COMPUTER PAPER 8.5 x 11 Oops! All Holes!"
Printout on a shrink wrapped pallet of a sweaty bald man on his knees praying. It says DO NOT STACK ON THIS PALLET!
that’s right beg you miserable worm
Designer: all right Mr. Del Toro here’s those Frankenstein’s monster designs, real sexy just like you asked for.
Del Toro: (nodding) this is exactly as sexy as I asked for.
Sadako crawling out of your tv, turning motion smoothing off, then crawling back in