Jesus christ. This is like if my favorite book (Modelland by Tyra Banks) had sex pervert shit so I guess Kiss on the Bum or whatever is my favorite book now? Big day for me.

How am I only hearing about this after several decades on this planet? Why has society failed me?

I'm not mad. Maybe I played Arlecchino once but I'm not mad the HARLEQUIN character in COMMEDIA isn't listed. That's normal to me, a cool person with rad interests and emotional regulation psychiatrists have called "within acceptable limits."

What did he taste like?

A worse betrayal of the audience than that time I went to see a movie about a boat all the characters said couldn't possibly sink but guess what happened?

I guess if you're a straight man who's constantly called gay, probably as an insult 90% of the time, you get tetchy about that stuff. Being super generous here, he did not seem like a good person to me at all, but I do understand that must be frustrating.

I mean I guess rape/revenge is a whole genre so it does sort of make sense to just keep using the most famous title and making more movies in that genre but who am I kidding, nobody cares about that shit anymore, flush it straight to Tubi who cares.

Nosferatu dramatically clutching his chest, as if the shock will surely kill him

Wait wait wait they made a sequel to I Spit On Your Grave? Was there a lot of story left to tell there? Did they think we need closure on the fate of that severed dick?

Yeah, fair enough, I hear God forgives all if you make queer people unhappy. Actually that last bit is not even nessecary, that's just a fun bonus to keep morale up.

Remembering the island boy boat

Man, what a cop-out. God gave you all a sacred mission but you get to sit it out if you made Purple Rain? Sure that sounds normal and wise to us normies but if anything God should be extra strict with the guy who made Purple Rain.

Sometimes John Mountain Goat helps you find a ton of snakes. Sometimes the Discover crowd has notes about your joke. Every day is a spin of the wheel on Bluesky.

This is absolutely not a common thing, and on a completely unrelated note it's crazy that it took me 40 years to figure out my brain ain't right.

Due to a terminal case of "growing up in the 90s" I legit have a secret question to ask everyone I know if I ever end up in a doppelganger situation. This is genuinely a true fact about me, and could be useful in said situation.

Damn, dude looks like he's been mummified, brought back wrong with a cursed amulet and mummified again.

International symbol for "the fuck did I do now?"

Just kidding. If I ever end up in a situation where I need to sus out the real Ingrid I'll just ask for the name of our handsome son.

Oh god. It's true. Which Ingrid do I shoot? WHICH ONE DO I SHOOT???

So I recently learned Prince was some kind of freak religion and I can't be the first person to have wondered, if you were in the right place at the right time, was there a chance you could have Prince knocking on your door to spread the good word? Was his crew with him? Was The Revolution there?

I love friend Ingrid! Friend Ingrid would nev- WAIT A GODDAMN MINUTE.

I'm not sure I trust the media recommendations of someone called The Imposter. Seems sus.

This is the way. I think most people know this but the whole point of these missions is to make them feel like the cult is the only safe place. You don't have to invite them in for coffee but being nice to them costs nothing and does help. Something to remember if they ever think of leaving.

Pondering the ORB

I look forward to Tycen denying my loan application someday.

It's a fun game called Mormons Or Nerds?

DMT Also called: Businessman's Trip

That's not true National Institute on Drug Abuse. You're lying for attention again. You're tripping.

I am what I am

You're a man of culture, Joe. A good man. Stay that way.

1) I know I asked for an exorcism movie where the possessed innocent is a boy for once and that's on me, I should not have talked to that genie
2) Snakes on a Train lol