You ever make it to the crossroads in your life after keeping your head down, and doing the 'right thing', and discover that everything you worked for wasn't meant for you at all?

We need 1000 reboots of ridiculous shows such as Jackass in which bros are doing stupid stunts and pranks instead of being toxic to women and other humans

I haven’t lost my mind, I very intentionally set it down somewhere I knew I would forget it.

All churches smell the same. Like wet dogma.

Cheerios should be called “Oops, all buttholes”

I often consider not using social media at all and then remember there are maybe two people that I like here still

my lack of interest is acting up again

It’s pretty great to see you pop in, this made my day ♥️

Oh hi Adri!

I burned my face yesterday attending my kid’s first track meet of the year on the first 70° day of the year, I’m a tomato

As a fellow 47 can confirm

Being 47 means I can say things like 'Linda Ronstadt is punk as fuck' and pass a polygraph.

Every day, I am more and more certain that the internet was a fucking mistake.

And Just Like That by Mr. Dinkles on Apple Music Song · 2022 · Duration 2:07

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Allen by Mr. Dinkles on Apple Music Song · 2020 · Duration 3:14

music.apple.com/us/album/all...

Pool House by The Backseat Lovers on Apple Music Song · 2018 · Duration 4:29

music.apple.com/us/album/poo...

You don’t have to ask me twice, it’s already antisocial Tuesday!

Luckily I did that about 18 years ago, I do not plan on doing it again

Out of curiosity I put my info into the healthcare marketplace to compare rates and my phone has not stopped blowing up for two months. It’s…a lot

made the mistake of signing up through a travel agency just to look at jobs and have already received two texts and three emails

I love this album so much! Favorite Ween album for me

Baby Bitch

Noon (ish) tune 🎵✌️

Feels accurate

Oh goddamnit, hi

According to my brain it’s antisocial Tuesday

Drugs.

I wonder what Justin Bieber is doing about this

My skill set is fuck this.

the nightly trust fall that putting my head on the pillow means sleep will come

It’s important to have a backup personality.