Go back to Iraq!

AI is an L7 Weeny, I asked that dumb bitch how many venomous snakes are in my region of CO and it just said 1… I look up on a Colorado Snake website and there’s at least 4 lol and some of them are gnarly as hell, 3 rattlesnake species & 1 other that mimics a rattlesnake, but still venomous lol.

I spooked this OG dude in the chip aisle of the Safeway with my Chicago Bears Zubaz Shorts… he was all like “ wooo man those are some cool shorts! I turned the aisle and was like woo damn lol”

Im pretty sure my friends can’t read maps, and I just want to be Goonies.

Will called this really salty white post woman a cunt for me because he was beautiful. I would consider her my enemy too. 💋🙏

Also me & Karl Urban could be friends, he would call me mate all the time! Like we’re pirate friends or just some boys being mates as friends. He’d call my enemies cunt like Will did, we’d be bosom buddy’s. I’d make him salsa. I’d introduce Kurt to you boys and we’d all be boys.

Dog To Beth on the night of their 1st date…

I’m here to collect the bounty on your virginity.(🤙 😎🚬)

Every day henceforth, Dog The Bounty Hunter was born!

Chad knew I hated him & the store gave me an award for stomping thieves with my autism face memory that he aggressively whispered before handing me award in front of the store, “SHAKE MY HAND!” But as a pissed whisper lol it’s was like a popcorn bucket award that catapulted popcorn into my mouth lol

I used to call warehouse workers at Best Buy, “Terrorists” and it threw off the managers on the walkie lol.

Chad the manager-“ like what did you say?! “

Me- CAN I GET A TERRORIST TO THE FRONT FOR A CARRY OUT PLEASE?!

Chad- “WHAT?!”

Me- A TERRORIST!

Donny or Adam would come up laughing lol

Trump cut my food stamps by $100 last time, so figured it’d be around the same deduction this time too.

Gonna have to go with the one without the “cop” on it lol

Also lol that the cup of MAMA’s noodles says “cop” lol

I want to get a custom sunscreen made for my car of this one, but now I’m torn between the MAMA badge one lol

Also lol at the one with the MAMA badge. Lol

AI told me after I said thank you for making these Judge Dredd/MAMAs Noodles nuclear promos for me, “please let me know if you need anymore comic madness or anything else, just shout! I AM THE HELP!”

Lollololol

YES!

Also I can’t confirm this anymore via the internet anymore & idk why?! Cause I learned it from the internet. So it kinda makes me feel sad a bit the internet can’t prove it anymore. Corporate Internet is lame, just like Corporate Kane.

Get em glow!

I heard Hillary Duff likes a band that I like, so I like her. We both like Floor. Also Hillary Buff is tight too:)

We Salute our antifascists AMERICAN insect brethren, The Lone Star Tick & The Asian Needle Ant, for their successful invasion into enemy MAGA Psuedo-Xtian Fascist Bible Belt infestations! Keep up the good work boys, keep on given them MAGAs Anaphylactic Shock & Alpha-gal Syndrome! USA! #forthetroops

ACAB*

*Exceptions

1. Judge Dredd
2. Robocop
3. McGruff The Crime Dog
4. Smokey The Bear
5. Axel Foley
6. John McClane
7. Time Cop
8. Kung Fury

I wish Charli XCX & Lorde would create a “GULL!” remix music video to “Girl, So Confusing” where they each wear Seagull cosplay & have Jim Henson Muppet seagulls flying all around them singing the backup chorus, “GULL!”