My shirt saying I DO NOT have lingering psychological issues is causing people to ask a lot of questions answered by the shirt.

9th date idea: u help me put all the worms back in the ground after it rains

REMEMBER: If you're not alone in your dating app profile pic, be sure to state whether or not you're the fish

What this tells me is that they should have replaced the swords with gymnastic ribbons years ago

black and white drawing of an underwater scene. a large bird sticking it's head into the water, surrounded by shocked fish

WHATS UP YOU WET MOTHERFUCKERS

When I say “insane lyric” what comes to mind?

Not best, not worst, not groundbreaking just the first one that pops in your head.

😭😭

Happy Tax Day, New York. We’re taxing the rich.

a photo of leonardo the teenage mutant ninja turtle

MY pope leo ain't weak on crime

post-nut clarity help desk how can I help you today

The afternoons I spent on my hair.

Franz Kafka, 1912.

Help what is something fun and/easy I can read on holiday?

using my specialized proboscis to get every last bit out of the pudding cup

this one kills me

Bart is dead serious about going to itchy and scratchy land, but bart has been replaced by jonathan the tortoise

What a rollercoaster, man

JONATHAN LIVES AND CANNOT BE KILLED

moby-dick, his eyes enormous: from hell's heart you STAB at moby? for hate's sake you spit your last BREATH at moby? oh! oh! the great shroud of the sea for ahab! the great shroud of the sea rolling on as it rolled five thousand years ago!!!!

Jonathan, the world's oldest tortoise, has died at 193 years old

He was gay and lived through two world wars and 40 US presidents

Job Opportunity at University of Leeds: Caster Cultural Fellow in Poetry **Interviews will be held on 08 May 2026**Are you a poet with a developing national and/or international profile for whom a poetry fellowship would make a significant artistic and professional differe...

I'm not remotely connected to this job but I think it looks cracking and you should apply -

"Are you a poet with a developing national and/or international profile for whom a poetry fellowship would make a significant artistic and professional difference?"
jobs.leeds.ac.uk/Vacancy.aspx...

there has to be something deeply wrong in your soul to be able to say "idk if this is a genocide and an apartheid state actually"

bodega Gatorade fridge: "Sorry I am not Cool! I hope to be very soon!"

Legolas holding up a can of white monster: "One of these cans will give a man enough energy for an entire day" Merry: "How many of them did you have?" Pippin: "Four"

Threads: fractured.ink_ > Writer Threads: "Why do you write?" Medium: "Why does the wolf howl? Why does the cricket chirp? Why does the songbird sing its sweet sweet song?" rtslaywood: "Horny Horny And surprisingly, horny. I mean, I get what you're going for, but like... Yeah... The answer is horny."

Sometimes paintings are painted over for a good reason.

"There'll be no erotic chatbot then, I'll tell the children"

Archaeological Dig Uncovers Ancient Race Of Skeleton People

Archaeological Dig Uncovers Ancient Race Of Skeleton People theonion.com/archaeological-dig-uncov...

*reposts your nude with alt text*

An iconic UK bookstore is offering visitors the opportunity to vandalize Harry Potter books for 25 pence. @thebookishtype.bsky.social, the trans-owned bookstore in Leeds running the promotion, will donate all proceeds to gender-affirming healthcare costs. Go support them!

I got to tell you guys something funny from my breast reduction last year. As I as I was about to be knocked out, my anesthetist was like "imagine being somewhere nice" and I said "I'm sinking into a peat bog" and immediately passed out, just as he let out a little confused "okay?" 😭😭