What is more inconvenient? Own media, play media.
OR figure out where to stream, get free trial of poob, watch 18 ads even w poob subscription, can't share poob w grandma, gotta remember to cancel poob, repeat this if i wanna watch the same movie later even if i kept poob bc ope it's on tingo now

I need this to ultimately lead to Steve doing that rich people thing where he's *technically* being polite but he's also being a stone cold bitch. (He also does this at his little customer service jobs when someone's being mean to Robin.)

Idk a single person who gets tax refunds anymore and yet all these companies still keep emailing me about using my refund to buy their product/service

Read the room, local auto parts store.

Yesterday I was walking to the parking garage from the transit station, and a guy who looked just like Regé-Jean Page rolled by me on one of those one-wheel e-skateboard things wearing like a tropical linen button-down and dark round sunglasses. The vibes were truly indescribable.

now we're fuckin' talkin'

resurrect the planking trend and revive our nervous systems

honestly this sounds like a solid arrangement

I need someone to lay on top of me for 7 hours. Not for sex. Not for anything. Just a living weighted blanket

Steve doing one of those videos where he measures the distance between Eddie's fangs before going around their house showing stuff with teeth marks. (He ends the video reaching for the collar of his polo like he's about to pull it down.)

You might as well attempt to string 60,000 words together because what else do you have going on?

You should learn about bands by getting a crush on someone in hs and thinking getting super into their fave band will magically make them like you but oops the music *is* kinda fire and now you are a scene kid for life

That too 😭😭

Quilting? Do you mean recreational ironing?

"chat, historically what happens when a large portion of the population starts to feel they have no real options"

The signs and portents point to maybe they should start paying people living wages again idk i'm just a lowly soothsayer*
staring at my little looking glass**

*person with eyes and the even the vaguest ability to string together historical data and contemporary events & trends
**phone

I believe in bullying tattoo artists* who use AI

*anyone

Also people who tailgate me when i'm in the right lane???

And rolling up while i'm clearly passing another vehicle violently flashing their high beams, like give me just 10 secs omg. i didn't expect someone to vroom up going 120mph. sorry that you're apparently actively shitting ur pants, jesus

my fave was when i got honked at mid-turn for not turning fast enough for their liking. i drive a bby suv. i'm not rolling it so you can whip your sports car through the turn at warp speed bud

or that time people didn't wanna let me merge out of the lane i was in,,, as i was moving for a firetruck

I somehow have become friends with some super great people generally but also some of the most decent men I've ever known. And when I say I will no longer be tolerating anything less from other men... The bar has been thoroughly picked up off the ground.

If you ever see me on here making hella mistakes, it's because my brain is soup and nothing but soup all soup all the time. Don't go back to school in your 30s. Just don't do it. It makes soup of you.

That was not the emoji I want to click but.. Sure 😂😂

Yeah I refuse too but sometimes I wanna know what one says 🙄

If you wanna read one that gets promoted to you on IG without having to dl threads, use the "share" button and then past that into your browser ;)

He really wants to be able to throw a proper pitch. He's not trying to play baseball. It's just that Mike is gonna be in the dunk tank at the school carnival and he wants to *destroy him.*

April Fools is so funny in the current social media era landscape bc you go on IG and see a mildly sus post and then remember it's April and nothing is posted chronologically anymore but then posts aren't explicitly dated either so you have to do "X days ago" math and whew. Just a belated silly.

Much bless

(i also need them to hire me ofc - two may seem like not that many but i'm trying to stay within my organization)

I applied for two jobs recently and I *really* need one of them to be both a good fit for my work/school/life balance and to also come with much better pay. This economy has always been bullshit but now it is BIG BULLSHIT.

I gib him six kisses and one to grow on

Six! 😩❤️