I really like Depeche Mode, but every time I listen to them I feel like I should be in jail.

girl fluffing her hair and pouting her lips with her arm outstretched as if taking a selfie but instead of a phone in her hand it’s a gun she’s pointing at herself

gonna do some swiping on the apps

welcome to bluesky! here are some ground rules we all follow:

* no joke-y death threats. you have to follow through
* you can sell prescription pills to one another but only on "whacked out wednesday"
* if you're a lawyer you have to start every post regardless of subject with "as a lawyer,"

I have never learned and will never learn.

Me (never posting here): this place is dogshit, no one posts here.

if Mario Kart was about pure driving I would win every race but unfortunately my competitors insist on engaging in a great deal of unsportsmanlike behaviour

“it’s best to keep the horny below the belt. if it rises to the heart it becomes yearning. from there to the head, it becomes loneliness.”

me: i don’t think you’re a real doctor

i love the people who talk on here like they're the founders of a new civilization on a hostile alien planet and our every decision must be weighed against how our descendants will judge us. i'm simply trying to post on the computer with my friends

I’m not saying skeet.

[after sex]

me: sorry I kept saying yay

Finally, a man unafraid to confront the real issues.

haha what if we replace one word in the title of a movie with the word “fart”. I’ll go first: The Fart Whis-*my skull is fucking obliterated by a sniper’s bullet*

Who up blazing their glory?

Nothing has made me laugh harder than this all weekend.

I’m exhausted so instead of napping I’m going to post everywhere about how exhausted I am and tell my cats that I’m tired.

Gonna start DMing this poster to men with the 😏 emoji.

who up getting they ass looked into by a guy wearing a miner’s helmet with a little lamp on it?

What is correct posting, and how can I make sure to avoid this?