My most beloved, greenest of idiots.

GO STARS

GO BED

We're gonna need to have that Hughes reaction ready to file along the MacKinnon archives, should things go as desired.

I LOVE YOU PUCK

what is this game

I thought you were doing the bit of how all the national announcers botch his name

sources are saying NILS

This is one of those games that is so full of penalty bullshit that I really miss Mason Marchment, what flair he would be adding. Triple backflips, unearthly howls from the box that would make Victor E. Green's fur curl.

lmao I did not know this mode of Colin Blackwell existed

I just know there's so many men in that arena confidently mispronouncing "Hyry"

Like you know how bad you gotta fuck up to make Miro Heiskanen emote???

WES MCCAULEY I NEED TO SPEAK TO YOU OUTSIDE

I didn't know I could ever miss being inundated by dick pill ads during sports and then came The Betting Apps

Hi Yoda

Jake goddamn (complimentary)

it is once again time for my neighbors to believe I am in a passionate yet tumultuous relationship with a man named Jake

@ Dallas Stars please don't piss me off I am very tired

HomeGoods is playing Japanese Breakfast, that's called Catering To Me As A Consumer

Good morning to everyone who is also spending their morning telling their coworkers that the Stars love losing game one.

I urgently need someone to unplug the dogshit playlist currently being deployed at the AAC

Hmm. Seems the Stars want me to post my neurotic hot take sooner rather than later.

Could never be me, truly.

I was concerned that my bloodlust for the Minnesota Wild would not be able to permeate the depressive episode I am currently in, but one glance at their players has reassured me that I will indeed be able to call for skulls.

My tv is on horse racing because I was too lazy to do anything about it and there was an ad(?) for a horse called GUN RUNNER that was just a list of all the horses he sired.

GUN RUNNER: HE FUCKS

I haven't been able to watch practice but I can only assume this means his car is stuck in the fountain

it being her cousin and not a closer relative was so perfect for that kind of person

On a real dogshit streak of days and it really helped the brain juices to hear "are you mogging me right now" in that accent followed by this dumbass searching the whole universe for an answer.

that tv raised me on Nick At Nite and did a great job

this is a man who’s about to write a scathing google review of his local texmex spot because the waiter forgot shredded cheese and it’s the ONLY way his wife can eat fajitas

The Baltimore hat looks spectacular but what I'd like to focus on is a unified effort to only say BMORE with an exaggerated Italian accent.

I'm not buying anything but damn if the glorious block T for the Rangers new city connects doesn't make my spending fingers twitch a lil bit