Don’t be rude, Keith.

Tissues you cheapskate!

You’ll be telling me next that the lamp on top isn’t one of the stern lamps of HMS Victory!

Maybe very light aircraft? I think the energy required to power the engines on larger aircraft, especially on takeoff, would rule out electric power (basically as you said - battery weight).

Thunderbirds theme tune.

Who?

Not all boots, just Wellingtons.

‘Listen to the crowd!’ I’m trying to.

All 12! Maybe a debatable one.

Am I seeing things, or is the postie wearing a bicycle clip on the wrong leg?

Stop!
your outdated pop music references

🐑

A BBC Sports news headline with ‘Forest bid £25 for Celtic’s Engels’

The cost of living crisis goes on…

You're watching BBC Scotland.

I went on from Tori Amos to this.

Needing to find a tradesperson for a job in a town I was about to move to: going to the library, getting the phone book for that town, phoning them all to ask ‘Do you do this?’

Once fell on my arse whilst attempting to kick a sandwich down the Royal Mile in Edinburgh.

Hegelly Blonde

Dry sherry is an acceptable substitute for rice wine - but that may also be a costly import where you are.

People who let their fireworks off early have sex like that as well.

Who are the people who let their fireworks off ten minutes early? I can understand the 7pm lot who have kids, but…can you just not tell the time?

Clowns.

And…why? Just tell someone else to get a hotel!

Orkney version.

It’s when you start answering yourself you have to worry.

Purple trousers?

A charity shop! Those are excellent.

Puzzled as to how they were the only restaurant open in lockdown. There was a lockdown…

Boring, see Civil Engineers.

Fez making thing!