I'm so grumpy

Bruh reset the wrong account

Okay time to contact tech support
Kms

Someone reset the admin password at work today and didn't document it anywhere, fukin excellent
The only people I can get in contact with (midnight currently) also don't know who or what or why

I am trying to be more positive about myself and my art.
It's a struggle, but man does even the smallest amount help.

So it totally makes sense that you'll run into more puritan morals in art, simply bc there's a larger range of people in there.

Don't get me wrong, there are CONSTANT moral dilemmas brought up in kink, but it doesn't feel as accusatory as what I've seen in art.
Entirely based on the circles I'm in

While with the art community (we'll even say NSFW art as a base), the entry level is way lower. One bc you're not an active participant in the action, and two you could be someone like me who just draws pin-ups bc you like boobs, and that's the maxi intensity you desire.

Actually, another level on that: the kink community is inherently has a higher entry level regarding the "intensity" of taboo, both in the sense that you are actively participating irl, and that people seldom enter the scene without already practicing/desiring kink activities.

that what's being done is performance, since there's a great deal of conversation before you start a scene. While a large percentage of the art community just kind of jumps in and doesn't take the time to separate reality from fiction, so you end up with a lot more "moral" issues.

I am actually such a big enjoyer of some dead dove stuff, but am way too anxious to make any.
Mostly dub/noncon.
It's really interesting the differences in conversation around taboo between the art world and in the kink scene.
Anecdotally, I think kink community people are more understanding

Did @/xenopavilia.bsky.social's bingo, cw: dead dove stuff

It feels selfish to pursue a degree and career in art while we live in a world so full of injustice, as well as in the current state of the art industry where so many people are losing their jobs and it's more competitive than ever before.
Seems like I should try to do something more "productive"

Thank you!

Wtf, they really do just be liking the holistic timeline huh?

Thank you!
I'm pretty happy with both of them, and it was fairly intentional pairing them together as they are.
I'm mostly curious about how many of my followers would like one over the other due to preference/prejudice.
I don't care to know the answer, but I am definitely pessimistic about it.

I wonder how well either of these would do had I posted them individually.

like, poor anymore. I have a stable full time job that honestly pays me more than I think the work is worth, so asking for more seems like pure greed to me. I'll be as transparent as possible about the fact that all they're getting is a few hundred old drawings that are pretty fukin rough.

Inspired by a post from a bigger artist who I can't remember rn, I'm tempted to open a patreon, the only promised reward being access to my archive. Occasionally polls on what to work on next, but otherwise it's just a tipjar for people who want to support me.
This feels a lil greedy since I'm not

to help me navigate this conundrum.

I don't know what kind of feedback I want, so it's pretty scary.

But now I have to decide if putting myself in debt would be worth it to potentially increase my artistic skill. Would it help me find a passion? Make me realize I am kind of just where I am, and that's all I've got? Or burn me out entirely?

I plan on trying to get with a therapist/counselor soon

commuting, I live 3/4 a mile from work, and two blocks from the closest university building. My work schedule is technically pretty forgiving with a school schedule, I just have to be in bed by noon most days.

but just don't commit.

I'm debating trying to go back to school part time. I'm really generally stable and would be able to manage a class or two if they're first thing in the morning. Paired with some online classes that I can do at work, I think it's doable.
I wouldn't have to worry about

always just end up drawing the same thing, a lady from chin to mid thigh, naked with hairy pits and pussy. Over, and over again.
My sketchbook practice has gotten better, but still pretty like, lame and boring. I have watched, listened, and read so much about how to improve and whatnot,

It's a weird thing to reckon with, I have my entire life only been able to see myself as some kind of artist, but I just kind of expected it to spontaneously happen. I don't actually have passion, I just kind of do it when I have time and energy.
I have tried to learn things and practice, but

one's middle school drawings showed consistentcy and cleary represented active choices being made in design, things that I am a decade and half later developing.

Everytime I hear an artist I look up to talk about how they developed, they'll show offf sketches from elementary/middle/highschool and be like "see I built my way up and always had a love and passion for it" but to me I see art that is way beyond what I was doing at the same age. The most recent

I have a constant internal struggle between wanting to improve as an artist and make a career out of it, and dozens of excuses that are all superficial and end with me just being lazy.
It's gotten to the point that I don't think I'm mentally cut out for doing this professionally in the scope I want.