Everyone smoking strong ass weed, eating gummies, and weed brownies. But if I made cocaine powder doughnuts suddenly I’m the weirdo😂

Oh no, I’m starting to feel those feelings again 🦋🩷✨

Jk it’s just indigestion

She twerking?

Girl let me live in delulu land 😩🤣

Maybe tattooing my whole arm will solve all my problems

If you don’t tell her she’s beautiful, some creepy old man at Walmart will

Ok April fools is over y'all can change the gas prices back now

I have been called a lot in my life but let me tell you, nothing is worse than being called on the phone.

Funny that it’s 420 cause that’s my credit score also

I don’t take the high road.. I take the psycho path

I bet you grip the pencil with your full fist when you write, moron

too stressed to be blessed or whatever jesus said

It's genuinely exhausting living with someone who doesn't know how to keep their internal monologue *internal*.
I don't give a fuck about how you pick your next audiobook. Shut the fuck up.

If you don’t tell her she’s beautiful, some married refinery worker on Facebook will.

Sometime I’ll take my glasses off so I don’t have to watch the stupidity in front of me 🤣🤣

I made protein brownies and protein pancakes tonight.

I'm too tired to exist in a state of solid matter.

I want to melt and be placed in a jar to be apart of dear friends trinket shelf or book shelf.

Is that really too much to ask for?

Almost done taking my voodoo class, this bitch is about to be bald in no time

Get rich quick scheme: everytime a man does some dumb shit he has to Venmo me $50

If I have no plans on a weekend you bet your ass I’m sleeping 90% of it away.

I trimmed my pubes for you, please respond.

Being a brat on purpose so l can get that five finger necklace✨

There are three sides to every story: your side, their side, and the truth which is also my side

I get my dopamine the old fashioned way (it comes in a prescription bottle)

I hate it when people use big words to sound smart, it gives me a huge hysterectomy on the side of my head

She’s right I won’t get drinks. I’m not forcing you too. But I’m just holding you accountable.

14 days left! You got this!

My facial expression talk for me

One minute I’m loving life and the next I want to be 6 feet in the ground